I Am Surrounded by XY Chromosomes

And I am losing my perspective because of it!  For the past 3 consecutive days I have been in high school gyms with several hundred wrestling boys and male coaches and dads and a rare mom. Testosterone is everywhere and I can't escape from it!  Like last night, 4 of my boys were standing around the kitchen island eating pistachios.  I didn't even notice that they were standing there only in their boxers until my daughter pointed this out to me.  I don't even hear the constant references to bodily functions and odors. I expect if there is a ball anywhere someone will throw it.  If there is a doorway with trim someone will try to jump to touch the top, if there is a cardio machine the boy will see what really happens at the very highest resistance level. Being back around my daughter made me realize what I am used to!  I am happy I am going out tonight and wearing sparkles, make up and shiny nail polish!   Happy New Year!

How to Get Everything You Need

In the past 7 years we have received, among other things:
a week long vacation on beachfront property for  for our family of 10
 $9,000 tax free
a brand new Prius
At first we thought we were lucky.  We realize now there is no such thing as luck.  The reason we received is because... we tithe.  Happily.  Cheerfully. With full understanding that God cannot be outdone in generosity  and we will somehow get all that we gave back.  We know it!  When we first started tithing, (which is giving the first fruits or the first 10%  of the money we earn or receive) we were stingy and gave out of obligation.  I monitored every dime and would bother the priest with questions like,"does this count for tithing?"  He would  gently tell me that is up to us to decide and then started to diplomatically suggest maybe I could try praying about it! (duh)  As we prayed we realized it didn't make sense for us to claim our trust in God and yet not to trust Him with our money.  We began to test the boundaries of tithing, by giving and then watching what happens, and we were NEVER disappointed. Each time we tithe, we got the tithe back.  Not always in the time we wanted but always more than we expected.  Not one exception. Ever. When we first started giving to our church, we figured we just sacrificed our summer vacation..then we WON a vacation!   And the more we gave the more places cash started to come from..like one time my husband got a letter stating he had been overcharged for contacts for the past 15 years so claim the money we paid.  What?  We decided to keep the kids in Catholic schools and knew what  the costs were going to be..and all of  sudden I get a certified letter from an attorney in New York..the letter stated a distant relative just died (that we never heard of or  even knew existed) and because we are the closest living relatives we are entitled to the inheritance...so sign here and get the money.  So many examples!  When our cars were starting to need more repairs than gas we won a  BRAND NEW car!  We give our money to the church now with complete and total trust.  This whole change in our dependence on God has not only benefited us financially, but spiritually and emotionally.  We feel we are doing the right thing...and you know what?  That is a good feeling!  So part with your money...you will be happy you did!

Some Dreams Are Nightmares

You know the dreams I mean...here is a recurring dream (nightmare) I had 8 different times. The dream was so vivid I actually woke up...in a sweat.  The setting was always the same...I was well and happy.  I went back to my OB for my 6 week post partum check up and the doctor told me she had some news for me, but wasn't really sure how to tell me...but...I was still pregnant.

How Many Times Did You Pay Too Much?

Unbelievable!  My son left his computer charger at school. He went to buy a new one at Best Buy. It cost $84. The only reason he didn't buy it was because he wasn't authorized to use my credit card.  He came home and ordered it on Amazon for $29.95 and it was delivered to our front door the next day.  What!  What could possibly explain this price variation?  It was the exact same item!  And he would have just bought it at the store if he had the right credit card and we never would have realized this price difference.  Makes me wonder how many other times we pay too much!

Merry Christmas!

 Merry Christmas from all of us in our brand new church!

Make Someone's Day Today.

My college age son got A's his first semester!  yea!  The day he got home for Christmas break, he wrote an email to his high school teacher telling him how helpful the class he taught had been in preparing him for college.  I told my son, "That was a very nice thing for you to do... to let him know his teaching  made a difference and was effective. I bet you made his day today."  Just think if every one of us made someone happy today.. just by saying something nice and meaningful to them...what a cycle we could start in the world!

What Happens to Middle School Kids When They Get up Early on Saturday

Away wrestling tournaments start early! Last week the bus transporting the wrestlers left the middle school at 5:45am....an early wake up for kids and families!   My husband got my son and his friend at the bus by 5:35.. There was little traffic that time on a Saturday morning.  Most of the other kids were there already too.  Except one kid was missing. So the whole team sits on the bus and waits. And waits.  After about 20 minutes they call the missing kids house, no answer. They call his cell phone.  No answer. They call the dads cell phone.  No answer. After about an half hour of waiting the team decides they have to leave without him. Suddenly, the dad and the son wake up!  They got to the school first, before anyone else was there,  parked their car next to the bus, and fell asleep. So sound asleep both the sleeping dad and the son never heard all the cars right next to them, the kids getting on the bus or their cell phones ringing!

Welcome Wednesday Blog Hop

I am learning all the time in blog world!  Today I am happy and excited to be guest hostess for the  Welcome Wednesday Blog!







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Words Every Parent Wants To Hear

My daughter called  last week and asked if we can get together ...and I told her me and Daddy have gone to 5 Christmas parties in 7 days and we just want to chill at home. She says, "Oh, look at this role reversal!  The kids are working 7-7 everyday and the parents are out partying."....

What Happens When You Are Listening to Motivational Tapes While Driving

This past weekend was one of those harried, crazy weekends when everything is scheduled at once. We were constantly running and in different directions, the youngest was sick with strep ...you know those days. So Saturday at 7am I am alone in the car heading for a tournament 1 1/2 hours away...a rare treat actually..to be alone in the car for that long all by myself.  I was sorting through my Christian CDs and discovered my sons favorite CD he listened to before college ...The Worlds Greatest Speeches Ever Told.  I put the tape in and knew why this is his favorite. It is the actual speeches of famous leaders: Churchill, Martian Luther King Jr, JFK, Ronald Reagan, ...and I realize I am hearing greatness!  The passion, the motivation, the inspiration of these speeches is powerful...I am paying attention to the drama of the words with my whole being and just happen to glance in the rear view mirror. Flashing lights are not good to see there.  He pulls me over and informs me he was behind me for over a mile with his lights flashing while I was going 90 in a 55 zone. I told him about the speeches but he wasn't interested.  He comes back with a ticket and tells me this is an automatic suspension of my licence. I started to cry.  He asked me did I ever get a ticket before?  I told him once 30 years ago.  He said, "OK, your record is clean...schedule a  hearing and throw yourself at the mercy of the court..." When I got to my destination everyone was asking me what took me so long...when I told them about the ticket and me going 90 they almost had a heart attack.  The one coach put his clipboard down and looked at me and said, "YOU, were going g 90 miles and hour?" No one there seemed interested in the speech tape either.   At the end of the tournament, I drove three of my boys home in silence...I knew they would love the tape!  Not one kid even mumbled! They just listened to every word...while I drove the speed limit...

When is the $10 Assembly Fee Worth the Price?

If it has moving parts you have to put together...pay the 10 bucks..
If is is so tiny you need magnifying glasses to put it together, pay it.
Flat box?  Depends.. because cheap bookcases in flat boxes are easy to assemble and gratifying if a kid is doing it.  Very large boxes may require discernment!.
Let me tell explain...when the three girls were young , my husband and I spotted this huge, beautiful doll house.  Oh my goodness..the girls are going to love playing with it!  We could hardly wait for Christmas, just so we see their faces when they saw it.  So we bought it.  It was in a large flat box...meaning we had to assemble it.  OK, the husband is up for it...we have to wait until the last minute though ( Christmas eve) because it is too big to hide!  So, off I go to work the 3rd shift in the hospital, kissing my husband good bye and wishing him luck getting the presents under the tree...., little did we know that was the least of  his worries.  Putting a 5 foot dollhouse together the night before Christmas is completely absurd!  And this wasn't a barbie doll house where the dolls were taller than a pencil, this was like Polly Pocket size....a mansion doll house for miniature dolls. And it was a whole house...kitchen and appliances, 4 bedrooms, fully furnished, the dining room had little dishes for the hutch...all needing to be assembled.  I came home at 7am (got off early) and there he STILL was ... but  now he  made it to the sticker part... where he puts the stickers on the walls that are supposed to be wall decorations, like pictures, tiny wreaths,  but the stickers were  now getting more crooked or very slanted, especially in the family room ....  the lesson here is: do NOT assemble a doll house yourself! 
Lesson #2;  Avoid do it yourself assembly when it involves multiple moving parts.
Well, by now we are a little more experienced...and I see this green machine in Target...it is like a big wheel, but much cooler..gears, things like that... which should have definitely been a red flag. The green machine is in a large box, not flat.  One of the high school boys who was forever hanging out at our house drooling over our daughter, was kind of tech guy, always tinkering with things, building things....so we asked him if maybe he could put the green machine together. Oh, sure, that would be fun.  So she watched him, pretty much in silence because he had to concentrate on the 110 plus screws  for about 3 hours.  Well, he was only a high school kid..but the finished product had some deficits... the seat was not right ...couldn't pinpoint exactly what was wrong, but the seat was just not right, it was backwards or something like that.... but the worst part was the steering ... when you turned the steering wheel to the left, the wheels when right, when you turned the steering wheel right, the wheels went left...  I was afraid the kids minds would get messed up if they rode it.  .
So, there you have it...isn't the age of electronics is easier, ?!

When Your 11 Year Old Cooks Breakfast

This past weekend the13 year old taught the 11 year old how to make scrambled eggs....demonstrated how to use cooking spray, a little bit of butter and 3 eggs for a wonderful plate of eggs!  And so,  Monday after school the 11 year old wants to make more eggs (he is the only one who doesn't have practice right after school) I told him OK, but he can't use the stove unless me or Dad are  home and he has to clean up when he is finished.  He is agreeable to this. Tuesday same thing..he made more eggs after school.   He is smug now with his  culinary skills.  He decided he wants to get up 15 minutes early Wed and make eggs for breakfast ."  Aren't you kind of getting tired of eggs? "  "No, not all, I love them. " I have minimal  interest in getting up early so he can cook more eggs, but my husband said he would be awake so that would be OK.   At 5;45am the 11 year old is in the kitchen cracking 3 eggs in his little greased frying pan.... the two other brothers get up and smell those yummy eggs...they come downstairs and say, "Hey! Can we have some? "  The chef realizes he is in demand now and tries to make enough for his brothers and adds 12 more eggs to the little greased pan.  The dad who is supervising is shaving in the bathroom, and I am  asleep.  All those runny eggs overflowed and no one  had any idea what to do. Dad has to come with shaving cream all over his face and fix the mess.  I am still sleeping, the three boys apparently are just standing there watching.  My husband ended up cooking  the 3 boys eggs and cleaning everything up before I ever even knew about it....No one mentioned a single word to me about breakfast...and can you believe I just bought 24 more eggs?  It really is a zoo.

Your Thoughts and Your Destiny

We were sitting together after dinner last night discussing the books we are reading.  ( We are raising  readers! Yea!)  I was telling them about Mrs.Dalloway..the book I am reading, and that it is a story mostly about the thoughts of one day in woman's life.  Just one day, as she is getting ready for another high society party. They would never go for this slow interior monologue book..they want action, adventure or wild fantasy. But they listened while I told them about Virginia Woolf and stream of consciousness. I was telling them how this book brought to my attention my thoughts!  And how unmindful my thoughts are! Random, stupid impressions about nothing.. and made me want to again refocus my thoughts on "higher " things..here is the quote I left them with:
Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. –Author unknown


 

College Freshmen and Christmas Break

The college kids will soon be home for Christmas break. The good news is we will be seeing the children we love.  The bad new is we will be seeing the children we love. This is our fourth freshman coming home for break . . .  and it doesn't get any easier to adjust to the insanity. We never figured out the best way to deal with an 18 year old who has just experienced unlimited freedom and now comes home.  Like, its 11pm, we are tired, the house is quiet and the collegiate decides it is time to GO out. Then, the next day it is 12 noon and I have already done 3 loads of wash, unpacked and repacked the dishwasher, got dinner ready for the night, exercised and written a blog post...and look!  The child arose and lives!  This whole situation requires adjustment on every ones part...Can he just go out at midnight?  He does in college.  What kind of chores is he expected to do now?  I need  firewood stacked, a run to Costco, someone to pick up little kids everywhere in  central Pennsylvania....can we ask him to do that, or just let him spend with his friends?  Seems like that cash we are spending to get him smart has to be leveraged somewhere.  And what about these crazy hours? My husband says nothing good happens after midnight anyway... but we still haven't figured out boundaries or limits. So today,when we got an email from the college trying to give the parents a heads up, I was hopeful!   But when you read it, you will see that they haven't figured out what to do either..here is what it said, the advice being to have a short conversation as soon as he comes home.
Your first year student has been independent (more or less) for 4 months:  no curfew, no expectations about telling people where they are going to be on a given evening, etc.
Your first year student has not had to do any household chores other than doing laundry and, just maybe, cleaning up the dorm room.
Your first year student might also be a little tired of being a "grown up" and look forward to being a kid again for a few weeks.  
The best case scenario is having your son or daughter easily glide into the daily workings of home life again.  The worst case scenario is having your child regress to seemingly kindergarten age, not thinking to contribute to the work of the house, and expecting to come and go as they please.  Most likely, the reality is in the middle!
Treat this as the transition period that it is and take time to set out your expectations for your student when they return home for break.  Do you expect to be told when they're going out and when they will be home Do you expect having some help with housework?  A short conversations  at the outset of break might make the transition easier for all of you!
 So...does anyone know what to do?!

What Happens With Too Much Effective Parenting

That's right..too much of a good thing. Everyone was adapting very well to this new set of rules...and keeping their stuff of the floor. Way neater than before. The material things they valued looked like they valued them. I liked this whole situation very much.  Sometimes it appeared I didn't have any kids living in the house..all their things were in the playrooms or the bedrooms. It was easier managing less clutter.  We got to the point that a Friday chore was to throw out 10 things from their room...could be anything, like scrapes of paper. Just to keep them in the right mind set. We are happily moving along and I get a note from the second grade teacher asking parents to please send in a plain white t-shirt, because the kids were going to decorate these shirts as a project.  I asked my 8 year old if he thought it would be OK if I sent in an almost new shirt, one from his drawer, instead of buying a new one, because he had so many.  He said he didn't care...The next day he comes home with a stuffed manila envelope.  Inside the envelope was the shirt I sent in and a note, "Dear Mrs. Pipa, I hope you don't mind that I took the liberty of buying your son a brand new t-shirt. He was the only one in the class who didn't have a new one."  OK, I guess I should have just bought a new shirt. The next day, Thursday, he comes home with the t-shirt decorated with markers, sparkles and stickers and puts it very neatly over his desk chair. Off the floor.  The shirt was there Thursday. Friday. Saturday. Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. Neatly draped over his chair.  I thought, he is never going to wear this shirt so I threw it out. Thursday night about 9pm we are all getting ready for bed and he starts panicking because he can't find the shirt.  I said why do you want it so much?  He said, "Tomorrow is a dress down day (they were in Catholic school and had to wear uniforms everyday) and it is our shirt party day."  Oh great!  I had to tell him..I told him he could just skip school and we will go out for lunch and have kind of a party.  He didn't want to do that. Well, how about if you make a new one, right now?  He didn't want a new one.  What if you wear your gym shirt? Very bad idea. So...at 10pm  I had to go to an all night Walmart and buy a new t-shirt.. and have one of his artsy sisters make his party shirt.  She was an artist and the shirt had to have been the best, coolest in the class....I stopped getting so obsessive that night, and we all learned if we don't panic and put our thoughts together we would always figure something out.  I could never be a teacher.

The Week Mom Went on Strike and Other Effective Parenting Tips

Oh yes..I remember this..I was so tired of asking, begging, pleading with the heathens to clean up.  As soon as I got finished cleaning the kitchen, I had to clean the family room and by the time I was finished cleaning the family room the kitchen was a mess again.  I had had it.  When I asked them to clean up, suddenly everyone had to go to the bathroom. So,I said ok, fine. I really don't care either. I am on strike. I never really liked all this cleaning anyway.  And the cooking, hey, kids could live forever on corn pops.  Help yourself...I understand your points now!  Why make your bed when your just going to get back in it in 14 hours?...I was wasting all that time all these years!  What a fool..and just think of the time I spent cooking..unbelievable!  Trying to get all those different color foods  for dinner every night, hours shopping for fresh produce...why? for what?  You can eat fruit loops that have those same colors!  And cereal is fortified!  All that time I spent coaxing kids to try eggplant!  They were all looking at each other, half nodding, half not really too sure.  And the strike began.  I didn't cook or clean.  Day 1 was easy, and everyone was kind of happy for the break in the regimen, even me.  They did eat cereal.  I think someone made a peanut butter sandwich and ate the rest of the ice cream, maybe a soft pretzel, a lot of apples.  Day 2 was kind of the same.  I spent a lot longer at the gym and started reading a magazine!  Someone wiped off the table and took the garbage out,  because it was overflowing with paper products.   Day 3 the kids were hungry..still not saying too much though..started pulling the comforter back over the bed and actually pushed in their drawers.   Day 4, starting to get a little restless.  It defeated the whole point though when they went to friends houses and the moms gave them dinner.  Day 5 definitely starting to weaken, this was getting old..but not for me! The shoes were beginning to get out of a heap and into a semi-organized pile. Day 6 they called a truce...what do you want from us?  Anything...just ask.  Worked well for about 2 years..then same old ,same old...toys everywhere.  I had another idea.   Anything on the floor I was throwing away.  Gone went that whole power ranger SET (like $75 worth!) The star wars battle ship?  Trashed.  Math homework?  I don't know, maybe check the trash in the garage.  My football cleats?  Oh, I think I threw them out too, they were laying on the floor. This was serious now..tears and fits.  But this worked!  Still to this day, it works!   Because it is so effective I only now have to REMIND them to straighten their room... People come in my house and say "how do keep the clutter away?"   and I tell them, "oh, I just throw it out."

Today is the Day That Our Lives changed Forever

So dramatic! So true! This day, Dec 8, 15 years ago, my 6 week old son was rushed to the hospital...blue and  limp.  Two days before this, I was in the emergency room because I could not stop coughing.  I was coughing and coughing..but wasn't sick..I felt well, was eating and exercising, except I would get these uncontrollable bouts of coughing and couldn't stop. I would be nursing my son and all of a sudden start coughing all over him. The xrays in the ER were unremarkable. I think they gave me OTC cough syrup and sent me home.  The baby was different.  He would start coughing in this high pitched weird sounding way and then would be breathless and turn the most unnatural shade of blue you can imagine!  Something was really wrong. I went in the ambulance with him and got a bed beside him.  I was working steadily as an ICU nurse then and was all over the treatments, respiratory care, monitors etc... For ten days, I kept him at my side in the hospital.  He slept with me and even took a shower with me.  I did not leave him out of my sight for one second...monitors and all....he was sick!  He was losing weight and energy.  I was sick with grief.  My mom had given us a check for $5000 the day I went to the ER...it was an early Christmas gift.  How wonderful!   We could get that piano, a sofa etc...we spent that money before we even got it!  Then this hospitalization..who cared one little tiny bit about money!  Suddenly, very suddenly, our perspective about the whole world changed radically.  Grandma had to come and stay with the 4 other kids so my husband could work and spend time in the hospital, and girlfriends came out of the woodwork to help!   They prepared meals, took my kids back and forth to all kinds of practices and rehearsals, one girlfriend even decorated the outside for Christmas. Talk about perspective! Wow! We never even appreciated these relationships. We never even considered their value.  But we were so afraid.  One of my girlfriends sent some prayers to the hospital, prayers to Our Blessed Mother.  Prayers for healing, prayers that ask for Her intercession, as our Mother in heaven..  At this point in our lives we were Catholic yes, but not really. I began praying those prayers. Mostly out of desperation, not faith.  My only hope really...10 days we were in the hospital.  I prayed more those 10 days than I prayed my whole life before that. It was me and the baby all day long, plus all the techs every 2 hours giving breathing treatments, the doctors rounding..but mostly it was just me and my baby and the prayer cards.  I had a chance to think, pray, reflect and realize..how many people ever get that chance?!  I knew I would be forever thankful to Grandma and my friends no matter what the outcome.  I realized the effort and concern, maybe for the first time in my life and I knew no matter what I was a changed person.  And for the better...we ended up being transferred to an tertiary care hospital .  A woman I was an acquaintance with called our house and asked my husband if we wanted to put an image of the Virgin Mary in our baby's crib.  She said she would bring it over.  We thought, what have we got to lose?  Ok.  My husband calls me at the hospital and said this image is not just a tiny holy card..it is like a shrine..will that be ok?  So we put the gigantic image of Our Lady of Guadalupe in our 6 week's old crib.   He stopped coughing, stopped tuning blue ... we went home the next day. You can draw any conclusion you want.  Right now we have a healthy, handsome, smart 15 year old son who we believe was saved because of the intercession of our Blessed Mother of Jesus.  And we are thankful and grateful ..and our lives are changed for the better..because now, we believe.  And BTW, today is The Feast of the Immaculate Conception..a Holy day for Catholics ..in honor of Mary's Immaculate Conception.  There are no coincidences...

Congress Should Consult My Boys

Here's what happened.  The 13 year old came home from wrestling practice very excited about learning a new move. Very excited.  He got it. He finally understood what to do.  He couldn't wait to practice with someone. He first asked his older brother," no can't, too much homework."  Next went to the younger brother, "no can't, I am getting a haircut"... then went to the youngest brother..., "no can't, I have to practice my Christmas songs".. then even asked his dad, "you can see I am giving a hair cut."  He was discouraged but  determined and so repeated the cycle, still hearing only No's.  After supper me and my husband were wiping off the table and enjoying a glass of wine and we look in the other room and see the two boys wrestling.  Good for him we thought, he somehow talked somebody into wrestling!  They rolled around a long time, until it was time for bed.  Then the 13 year old wrestling kid said, "Wait. I first have to pack HIS lunch."  Pretty remarkable he was packing his brothers lunch (the least favorite and most put off chore). This is negotiation at it's finest!  Nobody compromised. Both boys got something they wanted. Both kids were happy.  Win-win for both.....maybe simple arrangements are the best...and again persistence and motivation  proving their value!

A Difference in Boys and Girls

An interesting observation ...when my daughters were living at home, the three of them shared a bathroom.  There were about 20 shampoo/conditioner/body wash bottles on the shower racks at any given time. Four of my sons now share a bathroom. There is one generic bar of soap and one Suave bottle of shampoo on the boys shower rack.  Pretty crazy huh?!

Why We All Need Date Night

Remember when you and your spouse first fell in love? You thought about each other constantly, almost obsessively.  You wanted to spend every waking moment together.  You preferred each others company over anyone elses.  Almost giddy with each other.  Then...marriage.  And in creeps things that start to take precedence over your relationship....the job, the mortgage, school....and  kids ...forget it!  You barely even talk to your spouse anymore other than to communicate who is doing what in the daily routine. Let me tell about our progression in dealing with all of this... We had 3 daughters in 2 1/2 years. We were outnumbered and they were taking over our life!  And as young parents we weren't rich.  But we knew we needed time alone, without kids. We missed it. We found a babysitter and made a pledge to have "date night".  My youngest daughter was like 3 weeks old, and was nursing whenever she wanted so she had to come with us. We would put her in an infant seat, sit in a booth, order a $7 pitcher of beer, and TALK.  And we would talk ... talk about the kids and talk more about the kids...but then we would pick up where we left off before they invaded our life...and talk about us...what we wanted, what we wished for, what we believed. A beautiful thing!  As more kids came and more kids got older, they grew up with the idea that me and daddy were going out ..without them.   This whole situation was a benefit to them too!  Having two committed parents is a huge plus for your kids.  They witness two people in love and making time for each other...and they realize they are not first the first priority. And that is not just ok, it is advantageous! It is security. God, spouse ..and THEN kids. Having a date night is a win-win for everyone.  Do it!  Plus, it is FUN!

What Does Business Professional Mean?

My daughter starts her job Monday. A switch from business casual to business professional ...a big change!  She came home from Phila to shop, thinking it would be fast and easy and less expensive. After all, when my husband shops for clothes (he is a lawyer) he goes into the store, takes a suit off the rack, pays for it, and brings it home. His biggest decision is which shade of black. We thought this would be just as easy and there would  be a surplus of professional clothes for woman. Wrong!  Plus we did not know completely (actually not at all) what we were looking for...we figured we would know if it was right when we saw it, and we would have a lot of choices.  Both of our  frames of reference were  narrow...she went to a Catholic high school and then an ultra liberal college...neither was the look she was going for..she has 2 roommates, 1 has an unlimited budget for clothes and the other wears scrubs..no help there either, I only wore scrubs and my other working daughter wears scrubs...our last hope was my husband....he would know everything!  He worked in a professional atmosphere for the past 25 years!  We came to him with a pile of questions...he did not know one single answer. Can she wear boots?  He had no idea...well do the woman at work wear boots?  No idea.  Did you ever see a woman in the office wear boots?  Never looked.  Do the woman ever wear dresses?  No idea. I suppose this is a good thing from a wife viewpoint and probably another reason why I love him.  But we were still without clues as to what we were really looking for...then my husband said we could email his associates and ask them. A gold mine!!!   His coworker gave her a detailed list of do's and do not's.  Now, we were armed...motivated, eager and on a mission.  Watch out other shoppers. We have a game plan and we know what we are doing.  We came out of the shoe store and there were cages on all the stores..I said, "Hey, what is going on here?"  We were the last people in the mall...us, security and the shoe owner.  But success!!!  We got everything!  Exciting.  Here is what we learned...
Modesty and tasteful.  That is the professional look.
Think in 3's-muted pants or skirt and a colorful blouse then another muted piece (like black pants, soft yellow top, black jacket). Everyone remembers a colorful red jacket so  don't start out buying something like that.  Instead add color with accessories like jewelry or scarves.
Skirts are perfect.  Above the knee, but no more than 2-3 inches.  Long skirts are too hippy-ish.  Always tights that are textured, dark or muted..no busy patterns. 
Dresses are good. Never sleeveless. Don't always need a belt but always tights.
Hair off your face, wearing it down or pulled back, or soft curls.
Costume jewelry is ok, in small amounts.  Post earings are best.  Nothing dangly or sparkly.  Necklaces above cleavage.  No ankle or feet jewelry.
Flats or low heels.  Boots are questionable.(We went with the boots though, they looked ok..and she is 22 not 50)   If it looks like you are going on a date, you have to change the look.
No long nails, splashy patterns or decals, no bright colors no black.
The shirt collar goes outside the blazer.
As I am typing this it seems so stuffy...but it really is not.  It is professional!  And  a lot easier to shop for a professional male.

Can You Get a Job with a Liberal Art Degree?

My daughter did!  A creative writing major with an  art minor...who would hire someone with that resume?   Apparently a lot of companies!  As she explained in the interviews, she studied what she loved and learned to analyze in the process. She learned to think and to think critically. She learned how to learn! While she was happily cruising through Virginia Woolf ( I just started it yesterday, so its fresh in my mind) my other daughters were happily (stretching it, I know) studying organic chemistry (the nurse) and the integrity of steel bridges (the engineer).  I am not in any way advocating a liberal arts degree OVER a hard science degree. I am instead not dissing the liberal arts degree. You have to do what you love, otherwise you are trapped and working for money.  My liberal arts major daughter would be tortured if she had to deal with numbers all day, while my math major daughter does math problems for FUN and tutors younger college students in calculus, my daughter that is a nurse exudes compassion to families in crisis.. and the world is a better place because they are using their gifts ... but look how different!  Let your light shine...and that light is different for all of us.  How can you follow your dreams if you are only working for a paycheck?   When you discern and follow what you love... and do what you are called to do, you are on  the way to becoming fulfilled.  Motivation and desire will get you the job!

Keep Your Expectations High!

I will give you some background first ... This is a clip of my oldest daughter's wedding video, made by my new son-in-law.  They got married in September, after less than a year of courting.  They met on Catholic on line....and why was she using an on line dating service?  Certainly not for lack of suitors!  By her senior year in college she pretty much gave up dating guys (except for the formals).  I asked her why?  And she told me, "All the boys drink and party and have some kind of past with girlfriends.  I don't want someone like that."  I tried to talk her out of these delusions by explaining that that is what 99% of the college age guys do, but that was ok because they will grow out of that stage and will grow up to be happy, functioning, well-rounded husbands and parents.  This is just a college stage.  She then said, "I don't want someone who is getting there ... I want someone who is there now.  Someone that goes to mass not just on Sundays, but also during the week, someone that prays consistently and someone that doesn't party every night."  I shrugged, and said, "Good luck finding him!" She then said,  "Well, if God wants me to find this man He will provide for it."  I shrugged again and said, "ok" what else could I say? ... so they met on line ...  he met all her expectations... and it is a match made in heaven!   Watch and see!