Last weekend we were at a party and I was talking to a woman I haven't talked to in awhile. It was interesting catching up with her. Her daughter was a competitive athlete through college and the family spent most of their time watching and cheering for their daughters team, traveling all over the country following the team. When I told her my son was doing this sport she said to me, "Have fun. We do not miss it one bit, waking up at 6am every Saturday, gone the whole weekend, now we get up maybe 10, if we don't have an earlier tee time. Life is wonderful without all that stress." What? I thought they loved that whole scene. They would always talk about their marvelous tail gate parties and all their new friends from all different states. And how wonderful and exciting their life was...
This weekend we were at another party. A women I know just reentered the work force and I asked her how it was going. She said, "Oh! I can't tell you how great it is! It has been such an easy adjustment for all of us! I felt like all my children saw me doing was cleaning my house. Not using my brain at all! Now they see me go to work and even though they miss me they know that is what I want for them. Oh, you went back to work right?"
I think that each dream of what the other have, but in the end should appreciate what one has :)))
ReplyDeleteExactly! :-)
DeleteI totally agree also, ^.^
DeleteWell you know how it is...grass is always greener...honeymoon phase...and all that. ;)
ReplyDeleteHow funny...well, kind of. I can say right now, my grown kids will tell you that I most definitely used my brain while cleaning house and everything else. I'm sure they would have preferred that I maybe not have used it quite so much. xo
ReplyDeleteYou are funny. Children wishing you did not use your brain so much when you were home with them. Made me laugh.
Deletethis reminds me of a convo I had with my sister about two yrs ago. her youngest had just went away to school and she was left with the empty nest syndrome....she went back to work after 20 yrs off, at first she thought it was to big to handle...but now when you talk to her she is so happy and fullfilled, in a different way than raising kids, which she found fullfilling as well....maybe it depends on the phase of life you find yourself in??
ReplyDeleteI guess things all depend upon your perspective. Maybe it's their way of putting a good spin on things~
ReplyDeleteAhhh.... the seasons of our lives.
ReplyDeleteGoing back to paid work ...NOOOOOOOOOOO!
ReplyDeleteJane x
smiles....it is interesting how much life changes when we change the pace a bit...it is nice when sports season is over and we settle into a more gentle rhythm...
ReplyDeleteIsn't it funny the different perspectives people have on life? You know, maybe when they were in the midst of sports it WAS a wonderful part of their lives and changed when their son was no longer involved. As for the working lady-well, she sounds happy with HER choice but it is not for everyone- xo Diana
ReplyDeleteSometimes people say things that aren't really true or really how they feel to put the best possible face on a situation. That may be what you ran into. Maybe the mom returning to work is hiding a difficult financial situation and would really rather still be home. Its a good thing that only God knows what is truly in our hearts.
ReplyDeleteSo strange the differences we all have.
ReplyDeleteMy SIL just posted about having her new baby born...and how it was awesome to hold him at only a few hours old. And she just found out she got the PERFECT job. I was confused because my perfect job would be NOT leaving the baby...?
The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence.
ReplyDeleteI was out to dinner with a bunch of people once visibly pregnant with my first child. The only other woman in the group was going on and on about what a waste of a life it was for people to have children and how it was just a step down. I just sat there with my mouth open. I kept thinking get up and leave...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, the "You went back to work, right?" comment reminded me of that experience. A mother works very hard, and because she is a mother does not mean she is stupid. Ugh! That woman.
What is right for one woman isn't right for the next. Personally, I think your "vocation" is the greatest one you will ever have and definitely the most rewarding.
ReplyDeletexo,
Danielle
Being a wife and mom is a great gift. Some may think they want or need more, but, loving and praying for and caring for the needs of family is the most important work for the future of the world. I thank God for the gift of this vocation-His calling.
ReplyDeleteI find that people like to spice up whatever they are doing currently to make it look like they have a glamourous and fabulous life. Every other day on Facebook alone I see about perfect marriages only to see a divorce announcement a few months down the road. Or how brilliant their children are only to find out later they failed a grade. It would be nice if everyone was a little more humble, but people like to feel like they are big, important, and more special than the next person.
ReplyDeleteIt's that old two sided coin...While it's happening, it's the best. I just pray that parents who run all the time for their kids..remember to take time for being a couple...one day the children grow up and move, the parents need each other. Smiles, Susie
ReplyDeleteI think Monkey Man's right about our different phases of life. When I worked in the hospital, I loved my work. When our children came along, I loved being a stay-at-home mom. Loved being involved in their activities. Didn't especially love the schedule-juggling we had to do to accommodate all the things the different kids had going on in different places at the same time, but we made the most of it, and enjoyed ourselves. Looking back on it, I marvel at how we managed to do it all, and I do not miss those days one little bit.
ReplyDeleteWait a minute... being a mother is work... HARD WORK! The pay stinks, but the benefits are totally worth it.
ReplyDeleteI have done both - been a stay-at-home mom and a working mom. I am long past either at this point in my life, but I can tell you that they were both challenging in their own way - and both important! Sometimes when I was raising my 4 boys, I wondered how to fit everything in, but you learn to adjust and compromise. I remember it was a happy day when the oldest got his driver's license! But, I wouldn't want to do it all again!
ReplyDeleteEveryone has a full time job if you put your time to good use and don't be lazy, however not all of those full time workers are employed!!
ReplyDeleteAh yes, the sports mom. I went to all my daughter's year round sports events for years as she was growing up. No, not how I would choose to spend my time otherwise, but I was happy to do it to support her. I remember one conversation we had when she was in high school, and she was going through a what-have-you-done-for-me-lately kind of mood. Well, you can guess how that conversation went!
ReplyDeleteAbout the SAHM v. "working" mom. I was a single parent and had to work, but I also loved my work. One thing I loved about it was that I had a flexible schedule and could be available for the kids (like all those sporting events!). My daughter said one day when she was still too young to really catch on to how things were, "I'm so glad you're not a working mom." When I asked her where she thought I went every day, she said to my office! Hmm, some connection missing there. But more important, we talked about how every mom is a working mom and how families manage in different ways.
Thanks for the memories.
Our kids all played sports...basketball, baseball, swimming, track, cross country...whew! I always wondered how in the world I had time to get it all squeezed in. No...I do not miss it one bit..but have fond memories.
ReplyDeleteToday, I sit by (now daughter's) pond (she bought our house) and drink wine on Friday night and listen to the sounds of football at a distance. Heaven! My favorite is the band!
We always want what we don't have, just like it's always greener on the other side of the mountain.
ReplyDeleteIt is good to get as much exposure as one can to the world of people out there. Differing views, opinions, and lifestyles will only enrichen our own lives by giving us perspective by which we can judge the activities we choose to indulge.
ReplyDeleteEverything gets old after a while. I loved it when I first went back to work, after being home with the kid for 11 years. Now that I've been working for 11 years and the husband is retired, I'd like to be retired. I'm glad they put on a good face to cheer for their daughter and her sport. That's what good parents do. They are cheerleaders for their kids. :)
ReplyDelete:) Lately with my son and his wife and baby living with us, as well as two teenage girls and a mother in law... I've been dreaming of having the Empty Nest Syndrome! Is that bad??!
ReplyDeleteI dream of having the house immaculate and my hubs and I are snuggled up on the couch in front of the fireplace talking. Right now, who has time for that???!
People can certainly put on the act, can't they? Pretending to like/enjoy something they truly don't? And, trying to work and raise kids were the hardest years of my life - I had to work, otherwise I would have stayed home for them. So glad you can be a full-time mom!
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
I'm single with no children and you wouldn't believe the things people say to me! I'm not surprised by this at all. I think it's unfortunate because what ever stage of life you're in you are supposed to find value in it. I think whether you're a stay at home mom or a career woman or a combination of the two, you are valuable. You have meaning and relevance. Us single gals have value too. The grass isn't always greener, but it's up to us to water our own lawns. ;-)
ReplyDeleteLol! I'm learning to be content just right where I am. :) Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDelete<><
I remember the days when parents didn't shuttle kids everywhere. The kids walked or rode bikes to practice or games. It's a helicopter parent world now.
ReplyDeleteWe love traveling with the Grandkids for their sports BUT we also enjoy some down time at home:) I don't miss working at all! I have been retired for 10 years after working for 30 and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the retired life! Have a blessed evening my friend, HUGS!
ReplyDeleteDifferent strokes for different folks. I know that when I went back to full-time employment after all my children were in school, I found that so much easier than being home. I also thought it was good for my children to learn to take on more responsibility. I had a job though that got me home in time to take them all to their sports practices and I seldom missed a game. Getting a paycheck also boosted my self-worth.
ReplyDeleteWe should always try to find joy in whatever we do, at whatever stage in life we are. Personally, I wouldn't mind getting up that early for my daughter. I find fulfillment in spending time with her more than anything.
ReplyDeletebeing a mom is the best thing ever...being a grandma is the next...being retired...Wonderful. Loved and loving all of it.
ReplyDeleteTwo really good points from your examples. After I retired I had a paper route for a couple of years. It was one of the best things I did. I had another identity that was very worth while.
ReplyDeleteWhat right for you may not be right for me, and what's right for me today may not be right for me tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteWe have to be flexible, and if we enjoy what fate has planned for us then we are indeed lucky.
Funny...I use my brain for everything that I do...go figure!
ReplyDeleteI love how working moms think stay at home moms do nothing. We're all moms I think we're all aware of what a big job staying home with the kids really is.... just saying...
ReplyDeleteNew follower via the monday mingle!
Love this!!! I know I always seem to wonder 'how do they do it?' -- but then I remember that they might be asking me the same thing about us! lol! :)
ReplyDeleteHello! I just love your blog and I nominated you for a Sunshine Blog Award over on my blog. I hope you will stop by and check it out.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really interesting post! I enjoyed reading your writing.
ReplyDeletewww.modernworld4.blogspot.com
Great post its amazing how we all have different views on life :) Thank you for stopping in at my blog :)
ReplyDeleteThis explain one man's meat is another man's poison. Different people have different perspective. The answer has no right or wrong.
ReplyDeleteI think it is possible to experience all of those feelings. High school for us was band and horses. Loved it while it was going on; don't miss it one bit now that it is in the past.
ReplyDeleteAnd as far as work. It was a necessity and it was a good job. Now it is history; I've never looked back. I love not working anymore.
Annmarie, Sometimes what seems terrific at a time and place is not as great as one thought it was when a new set of parameters are established. On the other hand, if the new situation isn't the greatest, some people go to great lengths to convince themselves that it's just fabulous. Different strokes for different folks... Take Care, Big Daddy Dave
ReplyDeleteCrazy.
ReplyDeleteOh, dear...back to work. When did you stop working...when your maid, tutor, domestic engineer, gardener, sociologist moved in? Love the mom job.
ReplyDeletelovely...its just fantastic to be mom & wife..:)
ReplyDeleteTasty Appetite
What Mary said and the whole grass is greener thing.
ReplyDeleteWe have to love each stage we're in. Last year I thoroughly enjoyed driving my daughter back and forth to her synchronized skating team (5 days a week!) I didn't love the driving, but I loved the opportunity for her.
ReplyDeleteNow that she quit the team, I'm enjoying sitting at home this summer while she plays out at the park every evening!
Such interesting responses. I agree, sports can be time consuming, but watching my kids and seeing their excitement outweighs the yucky stuff.
ReplyDeleteParty conversations can be such a daunting thing. I think people should do what they love without passing judgement. Kudos to every mom out there, whether she's working outside the home or not and whether her kids are doing sports or not! x
ReplyDeleteThe Grass is Always greener is the expression that comes immediately to mind on reading this post.
ReplyDeleteperhaps she misses those times and it was just her way of coping with it ?? today someone at the office was giving me a lecture on having a kid soon. youre getting old and maybe you cant have one, she said. i told her i will have one when i'm good and if i cant have my own, i was open to adoption.
ReplyDeleteshe couldn't understand me. then she went to say working and caring for a kid when one's older was very stressful. i said that when i have my kids, i'd prefer not to work. somehow she was offended by that. hmm.
Sometimes I miss the respect I got when I was an engineer. I sure don't get it as a sahm! Thx for following, I am following you as well. :)
ReplyDeleteWonderful post. It reminds me of my daughter and her five kids. Four boys all interested in completely different things and one girl, the only one interested in sports. Go figure eh?
ReplyDeleteHAd to smile about the people whose daughter was an athlete. I have often been surprised to find that people don't think the way I had always confidently assumed. I don't know if they are just good actors or I am just trusting and unperceptive.
ReplyDeleteLOL! We do not do the sport thing nor do I work outside the home. I am trying to get a little at home business started, but my family is more important than a career for me. As for the sports, in my personal opinion, they are just another drain on finances. My sons get together with neighborhood kids and fix bikes. I have a feeling when the get older it will be autos. I love that they do this as these are real life skills they can use while learning engineering without the boring classroom side of it. :)
ReplyDeleteShe is self talking to herself - trying to talk herself into liking working! Lol sandie
ReplyDeleteHey but even house cleaning needs brain,right? :P
ReplyDeleteMaybe they're trying to make the most of their situations? Or maybe they're never really admitting have they honestly feel? Hmmm...either way I'm defintiely as confused as you were. Ha!
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why people go all out to defend or promote their choices! Obviously everyone has a different life and choices and decisions to make. So long as one is content with their choices, that is important.
ReplyDeleteSome people think you are uninteresting if you stay at home. I worked outside the home for years now that I'm "retired" people asks " what do you do all day, aren't you bored?" How could I be bored, blogging, gardening, creating…. Some how if you are not getting "paid" it is not valued. Really??? Enjoy to time at home it is time well spent! Laura
ReplyDelete