Monday, November 5, 2012
Raising Kids...Do It Anyway
We had a busy filled weekend of family. My husband and I sat on the sofa together, he had his arm around me, enjoying the stillness and a glass of wine. I said, "Do you think the kids will ever appreciate how much we do for them?" He responded, "Well, I hope not yet." I said, "What do you mean?" He explained, "If they realize it now, while they are young, it might scare them, and they would think... I'm not doing all that, I'm not having kids." Interesting perspective, one which I would not want to foster. And so, because we know the love and joy found in family life far outweighs all that effort, we'll just keep plugging along.
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I think as children become adults (after 18) they realize all their parents have done for them. It's hard to see when all you want to do is have fun and your parents try to restrict that at times.
ReplyDeleteha, yeah i think that is something best learned later...needless to say i have a much greater appreciation of my parents these days...
ReplyDeleteGood that you manage to have those moments on the sofa, sometimes it's hard to grab 5 minutes to chat. I hope one day our kids will realise just how much we've done for them, it's the hardest job I've ever done!
ReplyDeleteA very good friend of mine (29 and childless) recently told me that she doesn't know if they should have kids because when she looks at me and my life she just does not know if it's worth it. The idea of having so little time for herself is not appealing at all. And despite me telling her that it is all worth it and that I would do it all again in a hear beat she's still not sure.
ReplyDeleteI love to get my husband's perspective too. I would have never thought of it like that. I definitely want some grandkids so I will wait for the full revelation of their blessing to come later :)
ReplyDeleteYou've done a great job in raising your kids. And I'm sure they appreciate all you've done for them now and will appreciate it more once they become parent themselves. :)
ReplyDeletedefinitely an interesting perspective. Thinking back when I was in a similar position as your kids now, I've always wonder about how incredible it is all the things that my mom and dad would and have sacrificed for us. It never scared me in all honesty. On the contrary. I looked forward to having my own children and be the kind of mom my mom was to us. In fact I fantasized more about being a mom, holding my baby and breastfeeding more than me walking down the aisle in a long beautiful white gown like most girls my age back then would fantasize :)
ReplyDeleteSpanish Pinay
It is impossible to realize all parenthood entails until you're actually in the journey, and it is pretty enormous, so I can see why he'd say that. But you're right- onward!
ReplyDeleteI love raising kids. Our kids. Other kids, sometimes I think a roll of duct tape is in order.
ReplyDeletePretty much my son's sentiments.
ReplyDeleteSo true! I took care of my newborn nephew when I was 19 and his mother was in the hospital for a month. I loved him, but it scared me right off. For several years I wasn't sure if I would ever want kids at all--too much work! But I grew out of my fears, thankfully!
ReplyDeleteChildren don't realize the sacrifices their parents make until they reach maturity or have children of their own. Our son was born with a birth-defect; I don't know when he realized all the times we had appointments at the children's hospital took time away from my vacation leave. But that was okay. He now works for the government, as I did back then. I think he has seen that side of life by watching his co-workers and their families.
ReplyDeleteAnnmarie, Raising a child or children is just a ton of work...and sometimes it is never appreciated. Our experience was positive as is the feedback from our offspring...but we're glad it's over. I stress out just thinking about our 60 something friends that are now raising a 14/15 year old...or the 60 something couple that is raising their 2 year old granddaughter. Wishing them the best, that's for sure! Take Care, Big Daddy Dave
ReplyDeleteI do not have children...but my mum was my best friend. I always knew she gave of herself without thought....that is a good parent, willing to give love and respect,sacrifice....you are great parents :)
ReplyDeleteHaving children is the best. And they DO actually come to a point (some sooner than others) where they realize AND appreciate all you have done for them!! But I do like your husband's perspective!
ReplyDeleteJust keepin hanging in there right? :)
ReplyDeleteI think his perspective is right on!
ReplyDeleteI never thought of it that way!
ReplyDeletei've known how hard my parents raising us, their 5 kids, since like forever. and as the oldest, i got change the diapers and other things too. i was a bit grumpy back then. but now, i'm thankful. and after seeing and doing those things, without any questions, i still want to have children :) i think being a parent is the toughest job in the world with everlasting responsibility, and not to mention - concerns. but as my parents always say, being a parent is also the greatest happiness source and the most rewarding job
ReplyDeleteI think my two youngest children know how much we do, but I'm not so sure about the older two. They'll understand one day.
ReplyDeleteI do think you appreciate your own parents so much more when you have children yourself
ReplyDeleteBy all means just keep plugging along. You'll get your thanks when your children are struggling with families of their own, or in Heaven.
ReplyDeleteWow! What a thinker and good point! I think my boys who have moved away from home are beginning how much we did for them.
ReplyDeleteYes, plugging along and growing right with them, too. Don't you somewhat feel that? I am a Mom of a 34 and a 30 year old and they still teach me stuff nearly daily, if not weekly. They are each Moms and have their confidence in their motherly skills that I hope was taught to them by me, or other worthy adults.
ReplyDeleteI don't think my kids realized all we did for them until they were married and had kids of their own. Now they appreciate it.
ReplyDeletewhat a great way to look at things
ReplyDeleteI love that my oldest daughter sees our big family and says she wants to have a big fa
ReplyDeleteily too.
I like your husband's perspective. I'm sure your kid's really do appreciate you, they just don't think it's necessary (right now) to show it. The time will come...:)
ReplyDeleteI also like your husband's perspective. I don't think my kids will every fully appreciate what we do for them until they are actually parents themselves.
ReplyDeleteGreat thoughts from your husband! I think he has the right idea.
ReplyDeletesounds like a nice moment with your husband. xx
ReplyDeleteHa! I agree it is something definitely best learned as you go!
ReplyDeleteI agree with him! I don't think my kids had a serious appreciation of their parents, until they had kids. Two of them are finding out it's not so easy and the other two still have no idea what they're in for... if they ever decide to have kids.
ReplyDeleteI don't think kids ever really get it until they grow up and have there own!!
ReplyDeleteMine are 18 and 22 now. I think they are beginning to realize that we invested a lot of energy into them.
ReplyDeleteThe vision of you and your hubs sitting on the couch warms my heart! I am so crazy about people who love each other!
ReplyDeleteA very wise husband! Thanks for reminding us all!
ReplyDeleteI love what your husband said and I agree. One day your children will appreciate all you have done and they will do the same for their children. I know I really appreciate all my mom and dad did for me but the reality of the depth of their love and sacrifices didn't hit me until now, with my kids at the age of 17 and 20. I know too, that as time goes on I will appreciate my parents even more.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
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that is a good way to put it. like my parents used to tell me you will understand when you have kids of your own
ReplyDeleteHaha! That is too true. My kids have said a few times, "I'm not having kids. Too much work." hehe! Then again they also have said they want 10 kids. Depends on their mood, I guess. ;)
ReplyDeleteMy daughter told that she will be more strict than we are now to her
ReplyDeletetowards her children. Because she knows what is happening out there. I asked her if we have to be disciplined her more, she said" no,no. I have just fine. hi hi
Parenting is hard work. There are many rewards...one of the best is our 6 grandchildren....and seeing our kids as great parents =)
ReplyDelete:) My 17 year old works at a day care after school and the first week came home and said, she knew what she's going to spend her first several checks on. Getting her tubes tied. She kids... I hope...
ReplyDeleteI do think that adult children look back and are appreciative for all that their parents did for them....providing they had good parents I guess. Whether my children appreciate me (and I think they do) I can't imagine my life without them in it. They have given me far more joy than what I perceive that I have given them.
ReplyDeleteI don't think any of us realize what our parents actually do for us, it seems we are grown and watching our own kids when it actually dawns on us :)
ReplyDeletekeep plugging along because one day they will be thinking the same thoughts you are now :)
In my opinion, the text comes close of being a prayer. Impressed.
ReplyDeleteI don't think anyone ever fully appreciates parents and the endless loving service until they have kids of their own. And then you're trapped.
ReplyDeleteVery sweet. There are moments when I wonder, "What was I thinking when I had these kids?!" But there are so many more moments of thanking God for them!
ReplyDeleteI would have thought twice about having kids if I had known all that would could and did happen .LOL
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful perspective!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! What an interesting perspective. I didn't realize how much my family did for me until I was starting college. :)
ReplyDeleteMy childless sister asked me once how hard it was to raise children. I told her it was easy, like nailing Jello to a tree. :-)
ReplyDeleteRaising children is so hard and I'm not sure I appreciated that until I had a child of my own!
ReplyDeleteLove this post & it's so true! Thanks for sharing! Reia from www.southcountrysides.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteYou are a fantastic mom.
ReplyDeleteOh- yes...it reminds me of that old saying....Ignorance is bliss! Ain't THAT the truth? xo Diana
ReplyDeleteRaising kids? Once you're in it there's no going back.
ReplyDeleteRaising kids? I wish I was still doing it . It was a very good time in my life. I guess it's one of those things I would like a second crack at so that I could do better the second time.
They never will know until they have kids of their own!
ReplyDeleteThey will appreciate. They will! :)
ReplyDeleteThey will realize once they have kids, that is when I realized :)
ReplyDeletegreat post!!kisses
ReplyDeleteI believe eventually all older/grown kids have a lightbulb moment when they realize "Wow, my parent's made this difficult job look so easy!", and they'll appreciate every moment growing up even more :)
ReplyDeletePaula
lifeasweknowitbypaula.blogspot.com
What an insiteful perspective! I know it wasn't until I was a Mom that I truly appreciated everything my parents did for me")
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting perspective. Your husband definitely has a point! We all want our children to have some appreciation for us, but there's something marvelous about children being so secure in their parents' love for them that they kinda take the things we do for granted. (That's the kind of security I wish ALL children had.) Our children didn't truly appreciate what we'd done as parents until they were parents themselves.
ReplyDeletehaha this is so true---great post!!!
ReplyDeleteAh, yes! We've had this discussion ;)
ReplyDeleteI know it wasn't until I was a parent that I more fully understood what my parents did for me.
ReplyDeleteI think I had been a mom for over 8 years when I finally realized how much my parents had done for my sister and I! It is scary!
ReplyDeleteAnd I love Stephen Tremp's comment up there. So true! :o)
Continue to enjoy those moments with your husband :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with most.. not until your children become parents do they realize how awesome their parents truly are!!
Your husband is a very deep well. I know it came to me after I had my son.
ReplyDeleteYour husband has an interesting perspective! lovely post! kisses chris
ReplyDeleteWhat an insightful post. From my own experience, and as many commenters here already mentioned, lots of times you don't fully appreciate the hard work and sacrifice of being a parent until you are pricked by the thorn of experience.
ReplyDeleteTrue...I may have not signed up either...but it is rich even if difficult.
ReplyDeleteGood post! I think your husband has it right.
ReplyDeleteI think it's true that it takes adulthood for kids to realize the effort required to raise children up to be upright and honest. If you have given them a good footing in life, they'll love you forever for it.
ReplyDeleteIt's best that they enjoy their youth, although we seem these days to be putting lots of pressure on them these days.
Sounds like your husband is a wise man. Thanks for visiting my blog, commenting and following. Following you back. Have a great day.
ReplyDeleteI love this! It's so true! Hard work, but very rewarding in a way you can only understand once you've done it :)
ReplyDeleteGreat way to look at it!
ReplyDeleteI love this way of thinking. So many probably could never fully understand until they experience it. = )
ReplyDeleteIrish
Dedicated2Life.com