Happy Birthday To My Eighth Child.

When the pregnancy test turned positive we were again shocked (I know what you are thinking) and knew we had a lot of stuff to do.  Fast.  There was no way another body could squish into our house. The kids were sleeping on top of each other the way it was (3 sets of bunks, so literally this is true).  My husband was the Director of Operations for a non profit and I was a stay at home mom... money and kids were tight.  We got estimates for an addition.  It would end up putting the house way above the price in the neighborhood.  We went looking for a new house.  There was no such thing as a house big enough for us.  We switched to looking at lots.  It was Sept 11, 2001..my husband came home from work because he was too numb to work anyway.  We just looked at each other in silence.  Still.  Frozen.  The builder we chose told us about a lot that might work for us .. we walked around the lot and bought it that day.  Sept 11.  Everyone in the United States remembers that day.  We spent the next 3 weeks listening to the news, praying for our country and looking at house plans.  So many different emotions!  By this point, I was very accepting of Gods plan for me...and I knew He wanted me to have this baby because I was pregnant!   I didn't worry how we were going to do all of this, I just wondered how... But I was at peace. We were building a brand new house to welcome our new baby.  Anything I wanted!  A big kitchen? A front porch? A walk out basement?  We designed the total house...8 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms...a  huge level back yard.  My husband made sure things were solid and sturdy...nothing flimsy in a house with 8 kids....so we  reinforced everything!  The details were even fun..like the closets, the hardware, the light fixtures..!  We started building and there was not one single glitch in the process.  On Feb 18, my due date, we moved in.  I was big and fat and bossing those movers all around.  They were rushing so fast because they thought I might just have the baby right then and they wouldn't know what to do.  You never saw movers move that fast.  When I brought my 8th baby home from the hospital on March 3 he was welcomed with a brand new house full of noise, love, laughter and lots of siblings. And those things haven't changed.
I am so glad he was born!

Wordless Wednesday

Sign on a Borders store that went out of business because of Amazon.

Another Reason I Could Never Be a Teacher

My  9 year old is learning to whistle.  So he is practicing.  And practicing.  It is really kind of annoying.   I said, "You probably should not whistle in school,  it might bother some people."  He then informed me, "No...you are not allowed to.  Because once one kid starts whistling, every kid in the whole class starts whistling too.  And the teacher has to yell," Whistlers, STOP."

Lessons I Learned From A Child

Our  family of 10 was on vacation and we were visiting relatives.   We were eating dinner in a room surrounded with windows, so we could see everything going on outside.  The adults were enjoying conversation and the kids were bored.  My 7 and 8 year olds announced,  "Look, that kid is playing with a nerf gun.  We are going to play with him."   And just like that the 2 boys went outside and started playing with this stranger.  Just like that.
The boy was a different color and a different culture.  The kids never noticed.  They played a long time, chasing each other and running around together.  We could see them through the windows.  When it was time to leave I called my boys .  I said, "What  is your friends name?"  They had no idea.  "How old is he?'  They had no idea.  That didn't matter.  He was another human being.  I remember thinking the kid's guardians were probably in the same room as me, and I would never dream of going over to them and making friends.  Way too taboo....too may invisible barriers...It would be odd, strange, impolite almost.  Adults could learn a lot from children.

Proof That It Is God Who Gives Us Our Talents

If you saw the way I pack a dishwasher you would understand that my daughter could not possibly be studying to be an engineer.

My Favorite Lenten Story

 For Lent, my 10 year old son said he would give his youngest brothers a bath every night. The brothers ages were 12 months, 2 years old and 3 years old. I said great! You could just sit on the bathroom floor and get your homework done while the boys play in the tub. Me and dad could get the dishes done and the kitchen cleaned. This is a win-win for our whole house! About 35 days into Lent I said to my 10 year old  son, "The boys hair doesn't look right. What kind of shampoo are you using?"  He looked at me and replied, "Was I supposed to wash their hair?"

Wordless Wednesday

When a Coach May Yell at My Child

1. Poor sportsmenship of any kind
2. Disrespectful in any way to anyone
3. Not giving 100% effort at all times
4. Disobeying the coach

 The coaches cannot yell at my child  when:
1. They miss a foul shot
2. They strike out
3. They take the wrong angle on a tackle
4. They get pinned
5. They walk a batter
6. They throw an interception
7. They over throw the ball
8. The results are not what the coach wanted.

What I Expect From Each of My Childen

To make this world a better place.

My Second Daughter In Less Than 13 Months

Her birthday is Monday.  23.  I was 27 years old, working full time in Washington DC, putting my husband through law school and taking care of my 10 week old baby....it was my day off and I was at a friends house having lunch..she made hot dogs for her toddler.  I saw the hot dogs, smelled them and threw up.  I couldn't think about or look at those hot dogs.  I jokingly said the last time I felt this bad was when I was pregnant.  haha.. Then I left but couldn't shake that thought.  I stopped at a CVS and bought a home pregnancy test...that was way back then...and I had to wait until morning to take the test.  I couldn't wait that long.  When my husband came home I pounced.  This was big news to him too.. he thought a product of my wild imagination... I was still nursing my 2 month old baby.  We went to a clinic.  The result was positive.  The nurse gave me a brochure for planned parenthood and assured me the procedure would be simple and fast.  My husband and I went home.  I cried the whole way home.  How was I possibly going to do this?  I was hanging by a thread the way it was...and now another baby?   Money was not nearly the worst worry.  How would I ever be able to give this baby my love?  I could not possibly love this baby as much as the baby I have now.  I worried about dividing my love...  I worried for 9 months.  It was an uneventful but lousy 9 months of constant worry.....then the 18 hours of labor that all the books said would not happen because it was supposed to be much easier...it wasn't.  Then transition...I am never ever doing this again...then the loud cry ...and then the  baby.  My husband lifted her up and put her to my breast.  It was love at first sight.  True never ending love. Without a doubt.  I have never questioned my ability to love her , because there was never a need to.  The whole miracle of love is the infiniteness of it!  It doesn't get all used up on one child...just the opposite..it multiplies, expands, grows.   She is now a fun, beautiful, talented, smart adult..and is as much a gift to us as she is to the world.

Love Is A Behavior

I will give you a daily example.  Monday was my hearing for the 90 mile per hour speeding ticket (the post was What Happens When You Are Driving While  Listening to Motivational Tapes Dec 18).  The hearing was 70 minutes away.  When I got the ticket  in December,  I didn't want to even look at it so my husband did everything for me...he  filled out all the paper work and the plea, put a stamp on it and mailed it...he just told me where to sign.   The next week when I got the court date he asked me if I wanted him to go with me.   I told him " No, I don't think so.  Why would you come? "   He asked me again the next day if I was sure I didn't want him to go with me.  I said  "No, really what could you do? "   A week later he said , "I have to block my calendar now if you would like me to go with you,  I will happily go but I need to know so nothing gets scheduled."  I said , "No, I would rather you take the time off when I need you, just go to work. There is nothing really for you to do."   So it was completely and totally settled I was going by myself and he was not going with me.   We were at parties with friends last weekend, and I was telling them about the hearing on Monday.  They all said to me, "you are lucky your husband the lawyer is going with you."  Then I told everyone he wasn't going with me.   So it is now Sunday at midnight and my hearing is Monday at 8:30am.   I woke up my husband and said, "Could you come with me tomorrow?"
He came.

Wordless Wednesday

Getting Fired From Your First Job

My son was 14 and got his first part time job as a cashier in a grocery store.  He had a 2 week training period where an older person instructed him and then watched over him.  His cash register was never off by even a penny. . . and everyone, including my son, was happy about this!  He was actually liking this job, especially because he was getting positive feedback from his bosses and peers.  One time I picked him up and we went to another grocery store to get a red box. The first thing he noticed was how sloppy all the shopping carts were at the other grocery store!  He said his shopping carts would never look like this. The next week he was telling me about the current grocery sales.  He was beginning to feel accomplished working for this pocket money. Then after the third week they promoted him!  He was now working at the express line.He was feeling good about himself.  My husband and I were at another son's baseball game and my cell phone rings and it is this working son. "Mom. Can you please come and get me now?"
He was supposed to be working 4 more hours.  I said "Are you ok?" "Yes." "Did something happen?"  "Yes.  I will tell you when you get here." I left the game. He was sitting on the curb waiting for me and   he didn't look too good.  I said, "What happened?"  He told me...it was Saturday and the store was very very busy. It was like everyone in town was shopping at that store at that time. The check out lines were long. People were impatient. It was his first day at the express line. A kid, who looked to be an older teen asked for chewing tobacco. He sold it to him. Then checked out the next person in line.  About 10 minutes later a man in a badge comes over to my son and tells him he has broken the law by selling tobacco products to underage kids and here is your $250 fine. There was a young associate manger in charge. She saw the commotion and also saw the line backing up even worse and went to find out what happened. She said, " Store policy is any issues at all with anyone under age 16 we immediately fire them. No questions. I am sorry, but you are fired." We found out later  this was a sting set up. The state department of alcohol and tobacco targets stores to watch if they sell tobacco products to minors.  They pick a store where a young person is working because they are the ones who usually sell to minors. The employees of this state funded department scout the local stores and pick a young person to trap. Well, this person was my son.
It took at least 4 more weeks for him to  not feel discouraged and find the ambition to begin to look for another job.

How To Have a Pleasant Shopping Experience with Young Children

I will tell you.
I had just spent 70 minutes at the gym exercising and my 3 youngest boys spent that 70 minutes in the baby sitting room at the gym.  When I picked them up they were hungry, tired and pretty much completely sick of each other. But I had to pick up some basic staples at the grocery store before we went home or I wouldn't get back out.  I had to go now and I had to take them with me.  They were  fighting just walking.  I didn't even have any emergency stash of anything in my pockets either.  Wasn't looking like too good of a shopping trip.  I put the 3 of them in the cart and tried to distract them by going fast, tilting the cart, pretending we were crashing etc... they were not amused with anything . . . in fact they were getting even more annoyed.  Then. . . I saw it. . . the bakery.  I told them they could each pick out a donut.  They all picked glazed with chocolate icing and sprinkles.  It was less expensive for a half dozen so I also bought 3 more to take home.  I told them they could eat the donuts now.  They inhaled them. . . these little starving kids devoured their donut in 3 total bites.  They knew about the other 3 donuts in the bag.  They begged for the other donuts.  I gave in.  They each had 2 donuts a piece in a 60 second time span.  Now they were full and happy.  I cruised most of the whole store, even comparing prices, feeling the produce. . . very productive trip.  At the check out the cashier could not help but notice these calm well behaved kids  (like in a sugar and fat induced coma calm).  She remarked on how pleasant they were ..and so many!  Then she saw all that chocolate on their faces and the sprinkles in their hair and said, "Oh. . . that donut is going to spoil their lunch today."  I smiled back and told her it was 2 donuts and it was their lunch for the day.  She put her hand over her mouth in shock and looked like she would have a heart attack.  Then she looked at the bagger who now had her hand over her mouth with shared shock and they both kind of glared at me in a mutual mortified disbelief.  They were not happy one bit with my mommy skills.  Those 3 boys were very happy with my mommy skills.

How To Be Happy With Your End Results

Always do your best.

I Had Pride and Prejudice

It is no coincidence I just finished (and loved) this book.  Because the title was me. I will tell you what I mean.
A few years ago my brother-in-law bought us a series of CDs called " A History of the Catholic Church.  One, Holy and Apostolic?"  This was a very thoughtful gift.   I immediately noticed the question mark in the title. Then checked the supplemental book for a church seal of approval  (called a Nihil Obstat or Imprimatur) and found neither. I put the gift inside a cabinet.  I didn't want to listen to a secular manipulation of the Catholic faith, like another History Channel mockery of Jesus.  Well two years later, I decided to throw the unopened tapes away.  I  couldn't donate heresies after all!  My husband saw them and said, "I am going to listen to these on the way to work."  I warned him.  Guess what?!  These tapes are like buried treasures!  We both are fascinated with the amazing history and loving every single minute basking in the knowledge the professor shares on these tapes.  The practicing Catholic professor.   Here is a blatant example of preconceived judgement....pride and prejudice.

Wordless Wednesday

This works EVERY time!

20 Reasons Why I Am Different

I am seeing how out of touch with our culture I really am!  I will tell you what I mean by this.
1. I had zero interest in the half time super bowl show.   Madonna has no meaning to my life and I have no interest in her outfits or acrobatics.
2. I am not concerned about what kind of car I drive or what other people drive.  I will be happy driving a mini van all my life.  I want a car that gets me to my destination.  Expensive, high performance vehicles are silly to me.
3. I buy most of my make up at the Dollar Store.  I  look at the fancy expensive alluring ads with airbrushed people on them..but just can't convince myself the paint is worth the impossible attempt to look like that..
4.  I have never  been to a beautician or salon.  I use the cheapest hair dye I can find and make a mess most of the time and the perfect finish never once happened..but I cant bring myself to spend time or money sitting in a chair for a hair style that will last 3 weeks.
5.  I have never had my nails done.   I have no desire for the obstruction of fake nails when I have so much work to do using my own nails. 
6. I don't watch TV.  If I see it it reaffirms my choice without exception.  
7. I would rather cook than go out to a restaurant.   My food is healthier and tastes better.  I eat white processed bread.
8. I don't want to hear gossip about the neighbor's kids.
9. I would marry my husband again.  I would rather be with him than any other person.
10.  I love silence.
11. I still have the same purse I had 5 years ago..with my wallet, coupon book and lip gloss in it.  Same stuff I had in it 10 years ago.  I have never seen or missed seeing a coach purse.
12.  I think.
13. I am pro life without exception.
14. I don't like to read what is on the New York Times best seller list...I love the classics and historical fiction and would read nonstop if I didn't have other responsibilities. I am not attracted to any form of pop culture .
15. I believe in Jesus and the precepts in the Nicene Creed.
16. I have no desire to be a homeroom mom or organize class parties.  The same kids are here most of the time anyway, and I know how the kids interact.
17.  I believe parents are the primary educators of their children and school is meant only to compliment their learning.
18. I believe chastity is possible.
19. I say what I mean.  I don't have any hidden meanings with my words.   No one ever has to ask, "What does she mean by that?" because it means just what I said.  No games.
20. 8 kids.  Straight A's.   No braces.

An Example of Not Settling

My 13 year old son is having a great season wrestling, with a  record  35-2.  He was at a competitive tournament last week and lost.  He got 2nd place.  He shook the winner's hand graciously. He was disappointed but not disheartened, and more motivated and determined than anything else.  There was the usual fanfare ..trophies, pictures, medals, etc.  On the way out of the building he had all these awards in his hands and threw them in the garbage can.   My husband said , "Why did you do that?"   My son answered, "I don't want 2nd place. "

Who Is Responsible?

I have my Bible study today.  It is so great!  And I am so stupid.  I come every week and think the same thing. "How do I not know any of this ?  I went to 12 years of Catholic school."  About 15 years ago when I became interested in my faith I knew I didn't know this stuff because no one ever taught it to me.   Then it was I didn't have the right resources.  Then the priest never explained it.  Then I had too many babies to figure this out..  Then....and there was always a reason and always an excuse..  And of course, it had nothing to do with me, I thought someone else was responsible for teaching me.
 And the whole time...He just waited for me.

What Happens When Customer Service Does Not Speak Your Language

One of the best Christmas presents was sent in a gigantic box from their aunt.  A bounce around. It even SOUNDS fun. They couldn't wait to play on it. But it was December and too cold to set it up outside.  I called customer service. Here is the conversation.
"Hello, customer service.  Can I help you?"
"Yes. My kids got a bounce around for Christmas, and I was wondering if there would be any problem using it inside my house."
"No, you can't do that."
"Ok why not?"
"It is too big."
"Oh, well we have a very big house and a big basement."
"No, you can't do that."
"Why not?"
"It is too big."
"Yes, my husband measured the dimensions, and it will fit in our basement."
"No, it won't fit.  It is too big."
"I understand what you are saying and realize how big it is.  We have a very big house.  I was just wondering if there are any  safety hazards with this being inside."
"Look, lady, this is too big to put in your house."
"Well,  if it fits can I put it the house?"
"No, it is too big."
They spent many hours jumping around in our inside bounce around.