Thankful Friday

Maybe we go through trials so we realize our many blessings and learn perspective.  I am saying thank you with a grateful heart that my results were all negative.  I think I learned numerous things from this whole experience, like how important a kind, smart and caring medical staff is,  how my faith is my greatest gift,  how I take everyday life and health for granted and what immense value are relationships and the nonmaterial stuff of the world.   Happy Friday!  Count your blessings!!!!

While Waiting For Biopsy Results

The wait is the worst.  If you don't know, you can imagine.  The mind starts to panic with the million "what ifs".
I have to wait for pathology reports.  They can't come back any faster.  So what do I do with the anxiety?  I try and "offer it up". This means I offer these feelings and doubts to Jesus on the cross.  I just give them to Him and ask Him to unite my little baby sufferings with His holy sufferings.  And by doing this, there is purpose and meaning in my trials.  I think if I am to progress any in my spiritual life,  I must try and imitate Jesus in any way. I know He suffered and was greatly troubled in the garden.  When I join my unnerving wait for test results to His Passion, my wait can become redemptive and useful and serve to draw me closer to Him.  So I took all my emotional torment, cupped it in my hands, and gave it away.

How To Relax

Do not let your tongue touch anything inside your mouth.  
I did this in all my labors and yesterday during a medical procedure where I had to be very very still.

Wordless Wednesday

How do you like this driveway?

What To Do With 72 Hard Boiled Eggs

We had an Easter egg decorating contest.  Each kid plus my daughters soon to be husband had 8 eggs to paint and decorate.  We displayed all the eggs and judged them with individual votes.  Some categories were prettiest, most out of the box, most colorful, happiest, funnest, most unusual, most festive, most showing an Easter spirit..etc..   The winners got $1!!

Do Negative Comments Bother You?

My husband told our kids, "People can only succeed in insulting you if you allow them to." I think he was paraphrasing Eleanor Roosevelt when she wrote, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
What great counsel! I witnessed yesterday what occurs when someone follows that advice. Here is what happened:
My son signed up for cooking classes. Oh my goodness,what grief he got from his brothers! "What?  Cooking class?  Isn't that class for girls?" "Why would a boy take a cooking class? You learn about spices!" "No way would I be caught dead in a cooking class!" Well, the son who is taking this class didn't care about these comments.  In fact, he ignored the comments completely. The intended sting from the remarks lost all power. Yesterday when my son came home from  his 3rd cooking class, those same brothers asked, "Oh, what did you make?"

When The Police Are Wrong

It was Dec 23.  My daughter just delivered donated Christmas presents to a family. The mother of this family thanked her and asked in broken English, "Can you please help me?  I am a baker.  If I work tonight, I will get paid over time and then I will be able to buy gifts for my children for Christmas.  Can you babysit for me?"  When my daughter explained this situation to me, I was leary of letting her babysit in an unfamiliar place. We didn't know these people or anything about them.  The mom would start work at 8pm and work all night and the dad was a cab driver who would be home around 2 am.   The whole family spoke little English.  I called the rectory to see if they knew anything about this family.  No, they were just on a list of people who asked for donations.  We wanted to help and considered our options.  I could babysit, but I still had so much wrapping and cooking to do.  My other daughters were scheduled to waitress for Christmas parties. Then my daughter had an idea.  What if her guy friend who is also fluent in another language, babysat with her?  This works!  And he agreed to help.  When the two of them got to the house, my daughter called and informed me it wasn't the language she thought it was that they spoke, but something else!  And they didn't know what it was.  So the 2 17 year old good souls played all evening with the 3 younger good souls, and put them to bed and waited until the dad came home from work at 2 am.  When he did get home he thanked them very very much for helping his family.  As my daughter and her friend drove the car away from the home they realized those sirens behind them were for them!  They pulled into a McDonalds parking lot.  The cop puts on his hat and strolls to their car, shines the flashlight in the drivers face and then my daughters face and then in the rest of the car.  And asks to see the license.   He then informs the teens that they are breaking the law by breaking curfew, and they cannot be out after midnight.  When the kids tried to explain why they were out so late, the officer laughed and said, "yea right...I was 17 once too."

The Same And Different

Last Sunday we were scrambling to get everyone where they were supposed to be and still hadn't gone to mass.  The only available mass for our schedule was a Spanish Mass in a not too good part of the city.  We went.  The sole white folks there.  We didn't know a word of Spanish except Amen and God.  But we knew the mass and the meaning of it.  In our usual church which is big and beautiful and dazzling brand new, we are familiar there...and fit right in with all the other white rich Catholics.  This Spanish Mass was not white or rich.  We looked at them and thought  "Oh, they are poor.  They don't have cars or houses or money."  I wondered if they looked at us and thought.  " Oh, they are poor.  They have cars and houses and money...but do they love each other or love the cars and houses and money?"

Wordless Wednesday

photoshop mistake

Photo Tips For Selling More School Pictures

On Friday I saw in my son's bookbag the spring pictures that were taken in school.   He didn't even bother to show me because he knew I never once bought them.  None of my kids even mention the school pictures because they all know the same thing.  But one time I did buy those pictures.  Last year.  For those spring pictures my 8th grade son decided to make everyone in line laugh.  He choose a beautiful background of spring blooming flowers with rainbows and pretty butterflies.  He choose to hold a cute little bunny in one hand an an opened ruffled parasol  in the other hand and then he tilted his head ever so gently.  And all the kids did laugh!  He got called to the principle's office  because of the commotion.  The principle said to him,   "I do not think this is very funny at all. Picking that sort of back round. What would your mom say?  I bet she wants all those pictures of you."   My 14 year old did not say one word.

Turn Your Disappointments Into Knowledge

Have you ever been really disappointed?  Of course you have!  Every human being has been disappointed.   Didn't get the boy, the grade, the medal, the job.   We in our house were certainly disappointed this weekend and experienced the whole gamut of emotions ... hope, fear, happiness, sadness, joy.   It is not the end of life as we know it and we are alive and healthy.  But still cannot deny the disappointment that is in our hearts.  So now what?   Rationalize,  shrug our shoulders and say,  "It didn't matter that much anyway."  That would not be true.  Because everything matters.  Now we clean up the spilled milk and grow from our encounters with life, and turn experience into knowledge.  It has been said that what doesn't kill us will make us stronger.
It seems there should be an easier way of getting strong!

How Would You Know If You Bought a Lemon?

Well...the $50 my husband paid for the Volkensen Rabbit in law school...even I didn't have high expectations for that one.  One the way home from his class it died on Rockville Pike....so it lasted for one and a half trips. That is what you get for fifty bucks.
But this story is not about that car.   It is about our club wagon!  We had 8 kids the oldest just turned 14...we needed a big enough vehicle where everyone could fit without triple seat belting every time we went somewhere.  We shopped and shopped and "ordered" a 10 seat,  25,000 mile almost new Ford green club wagon from the dealer.  The kids even had their own individual cup holders ...and vents so they could control their own air and heat.  This is how they must travel in heaven...so much room!  I drove it off the lot because I would be the one mostly driving it...I am barely 5 feet so the seat is always pulled up as far as possible so I could reach the peddle... but now I needed two hands to steer.  I had to get used to driving this.  It was big... it was a team bus. They were kind of all laughing at me driving, I think because I looked so small in it.  The hardest part for me was parking.  I soon stopped attempts at parallel parking and only parked where I could easily pull in.  After one week, I was backing out of the grocery parking lot and I adjusted the rear view mirror and it fell off!!  Oh my, now what?  My husband said "'What were you possibly doing?"  After he duck taped it back on, we took it to the dealer and they glued it back on.   Two days later I was opening my window  and the window got stuck half way.  Wouldn't go up.  Wouldn't go down.  My husband had to pull the window all the way up and we had to leave it up till we took it back to the dealer.  When the windshield wipers "just fell off"  I began to get grief consistently from every member of this house about what I was doing to my club wagon.  What the heck!  Then it was a series of  broken parts...seat belts getting stuck, radio knobs cracking etc...Everyone was asking me how I was breaking all of this stuff, and what was I driving like?  3 weeks after the puchase of that club wagon the doorbell rings and I sign for a certified letter.  From the Dept of Transportation.   The contents informed us that this department traced my club wagon to drug trafficking cartels that were running drugs back and forth to Mexico for 6 months!  And the drug dealers turned back the odometer approximately 200,000 miles!!!

Another Reason Why I Could Never Be a Teacher

7th grade teacher to class, "What are some things that can help you as you prepare for this PSSA test?"
Student  "Teamwork"
"Can you explain this more?"
"If I don't know the answer on the test, I just asked my friend sitting next to me. It is like coach always says, 'teamwork! teamwork!'"

Wordless Wednesday

How To Increase Your Self Esteem

Help someone without expecting anything in return.

Where Have All The Men Gone?

My Dad advised me in high school to never marry a man who refuses to change a diaper.  I know what he meant then and I know what he meant now.  I see with my own eyes what happens as we women try to be the same as a man.  Men end up with a free pass.  Women end up with free birth control.  The most we demand from men is taking out the garbage once a week.  And they live up to those expectations....if we let them.  But there are still real men and they are living in my house.  How do I know?  I'll tell you what they are like:
1. They bring in all the groceries.  And put them all away,  just like I like it.  Organized, with labels facing me.
2. They clean the snow off the car for me, warm it ahead of time, fill it with gas,  drop me off and pick me up.
3. They open doors for me and all women.  I go first.
4. They eat all their meat and potatoes, but they also eat at all the yellow, green, purple, orange, red and white foods I cook too. They rinse their plate when they are finished and put it in the dishwasher.  And say, thank you for making this for me,  it was delicious.
5. They watch musicals and chick flicks because I always get first pick.
6. They sing in church. They say their prayers. They ask God for help.
7. They push their physical bodies to the limit, but know their minds give out long before their bodies, so they train their minds too...and practice self control.
8. They notice my new ruffled pillows and fresh flowers on the table, and tell me.
9. They protect me from the bad guys.
10. They make their bed everyday and keep their room clean, because I asked them to.
11. They do their push ups.  All of their push ups.  They know slacking is just cheating themselves.
12. But most importantly, they show a concern for others, especially the less fortunate.  When I see my husband and sons freely offering their service to another human being,  that is when I know they are real men.
I think it is time to raise our expectations ...and make men be men.

New House Rules For Fort Building

Spring is coming, sometimes it feels like it is here already.  Today, the boys are gearing up for another air soft war, and have been building elaborate trenches and forts and bunkers every free second they got since last spring.   The problem is that when winter comes and the leaves fall off all the trees we can see all of their creations.  This spring it will be different because I have disallowed any artificial matter being used in the forts.  To them, this means
1. No PVC piping
2. No tarps
3. No electrical or duct tape
Oh, they complained about this every chance they got.  I told them they just have to figure something out. Yet,  I know they don't really appreciate just how rewarding it is for them ...to think, and create, and get dirty and muddy and come up with their own natural fort.  Someday they will.

Boys Will Be Boys. Help!

 Everyone could see and hear the constant flurry of activity from the houses being built behind our house.  We could watch everything from our patio. The workers would quit about 5 pm and all would be quiet and still again.  My boys were 6 and 8, and asked if they could go play in the dirt piles.  I guess that would be OK.  About an hour later my 6 year old son runs in the house yelling for our attention, (he is very calm in a crisis).  He said, " Help! The bulldozer we were playing on had a key in it, and Mikey (the 8 year old)  turned it and started it!"

Sometimes I Just Miss My Mom

Almost all the time, really.  Who else would share my joys and trials of being a mom the way my mom would?  I will tell you a little about her and you will see why I miss her.  She was an Italian cooking practicing Catholic from the coal regions of Central Pa.  And had this way about her.  Everyone that came in contact with her, walked away from her with the feeling they were special and that she loved them the best.  She put others needs in front of her own, and would never inconvenience anyone for anything.  She even had cash set aside in a marked envelope for the altar servers and pall bearers for her own funeral...  so we kids would not have to bother with any of those details!   When I got married she would visit and bring dinner.  I would go to visit her and she would make dinner.   And her food always tasted better than any ones, because everyone knew it was made in her heart.  She would treat me and my husband to time without the kids and take the kids to her house.  She would say to them,  sit down here and I will give you a delicious scoop of ice cream, and put a generic scoop of vanilla ice cream in a cone and give it to my girls.  Vanilla ice cream could not have tasted better!  The girls would sit and so happily enjoy that ice cream...and feel like it was a big time special treat.   When I was in college, my parents would visit me at Penn State on Sundays and take me to dinner...they loved the steak houses, because of the senior citizens discount.  They said I could order anything I wanted, they always got the salad bar because it was the least expensive thing on the menu.  She always brought me a package when they came ... like 5 meatballs in a cool whip container, the half of pound of salami she had in her refrigerator, a can of green beans and about $10.  I loved their visits!  Everyone  that met her loved her visits.  She would bring the receptionist at the Dr's office a sour cream cookie.   When her doctors wife had a baby she sent the baby $1.  When she visited someone in the hospital she would bring them an orange.  She would go to the bank on Wednesdays to see if they had the newest state quarter to send to my kids.  Soon, the tellers were on the look out for quarters to give her.  She would make and decorate a cake for everyone for every occasion..straight A's, a lead in a play, every sacrament and every birthday.   She gave and gave and gave.  When she died in my brothers home her 4 children were at her bedside.   She opened her eyes and smiled.  Peacefully.  She then lifted both of her hands up to the sky took one slow and deep breath and went to heaven.

The Benefits of a Large Family In Making Connections

My daughter's broken front tooth is fixed, and she is as pretty as ever. With this latest experience, I saw the difference in being away from home and not knowing anyone and being at home and knowing everyone.  I will explain.  On Monday morning at 8am, my daughter called the dentists near her college.  They didn't recognize her name and asked, "Are you a patient here?" "No" "...Well the best we can do would be Tuesday. " Now here is what happens when the same event happened at home.  My son was at 4th grade recess and broke his front tooth for the second time. The students and teachers kind of panicked.  A broken front tooth looks pretty bad.  The school nurse called, worried.  I talked to my son from her office and could tell by his voice he was OK.  I hung up and called the dentists office and explained what just happened. The dentist said, "just bring him in right now...there is no one here, I'll fix it over lunch."  So, I picked up my broken tooth son from school and brought him to the dentist.  His tooth was fixed in about 10 minutes.  I  brought my son back to school,  just as the other 4th grade kids were returning from recess.  The whole grade saw him at the start of recess with a broken front tooth and now they saw him at the end of recess and the tooth wasn't broken anymore.  Mass confusion!!  Even the teachers were confused.  He was like a celebrity...everyone wanted their own look! See how it pays to build relationships?!

Wordless Wednesday

75 Minutes On a Sunday

More of life at the zoo...
It started yesterday 2:50pm.
The youngest son was at a swim clinic and I was on the stationary bike at the gym.  At the same time, my husband was at a qualifying wrestling tournament with the 3 middle boys.   My college daughter called and told me she had just broken off half her front tooth playing intermural hockey.  This is the third time she broke off half of that same tooth.  It looks VERY bad but does not hurt.  I told her there was not much to do now,  she would have to find a dentist tomorrow and get it fixed there.  In the meantime I texted everyone in our family to let them know this happened to her again!  The wrestlers were faring well... 2 got first place and 1 got second place..so they all advance to regionals.  The text response from one of the wrestlers was  Ha..must run in the family.  He was wearing a mouth piece as he was texting because he too broke his front tooth 3 times.  I text forwarded his response while shrugging and shaking my head... that 2 kids in the same family broke off half of their front tooth 3 different times!  The daughter with the broken tooth responded that our family seems to take these things very lightly and everyone in college is very worried. By the time my youngest was done swimming I had gone 14 miles on the bike, the boys had wrestled 6 matches, my daughter broke her tooth and I had communicated with every kid in my family.  Isn't it amazing how we can all be in different places doing different things and still be so connected to each other?

Lenten Insights Into The Teenager's Mind

 Mass text from my husband to our kids on Friday:  NO MEAT TODAY
One response: Is a hot dog meat?

What Happened Between 8am and 10am

What is life like in your zoo?  Here is what it is like at the zoo here.
Last night we had to get my husband's mom at the airport at 11:30pm....she was coming back from her snow bird Florida vacation. My husband and I drove together to keep each other awake.  It was late when we got home.  My husband woke up on time... not me.   I slept till 8am, a late start for the day.   I was now going to have to miss prayer group,  I thought I might as well try and get caught up with my emails. But I had to keep answering the phone.  Five moms called to RSVP to my son's birthday...happy calls, but busy.   Chase Visa fraud dept calls...to inform me that someone in Tucson AZ (we live in PA) has been unsuccessfully trying to use my credit card for online purchases in amounts over $500.   The doorbell rings.  It is the retired husband of my son's piano teacher.  He could see me through the window... I had to answer the door... I did.  I was still in my jammies.  As soon as he drove away his wife called to tell me he was putting music sheets in my mailbox...I told her he just hand delivered the music.  All she said was "I told him to put them in the mailbox. That is what he was supposed to do."  I could tell by her tone he was in trouble for not following her exact directions.  Poor guy!!  Between me and my jammies and his wife he was having a rough time already.  I had to call my husband and tell him he can no longer use the credit card and reminded him the blind guy is coming so I can't pick the kids up.   He says, "I know you probably told me this already, but who is the blind guy?"  "The guy that is going to measure our windows." "How is he going to measure them if he is blind?"  "No, he is not blind.  He is measuring for our new blinds.  He works for budget blinds."