Wordless Wednesday

Summer Insights From A Teen's Perspective

Me, "Time to get up!"
Teen, "Mom! You know teenagers need at least 12 hours of sleep every night in the summer."

Why Utensils Are Important

Well, this was a "group" party...where half of the alphabet brings a dessert, the other half brings a salad and everyone chips in for pizza and soda. There are tables full of homemade and store bought foods in plastic or aluminum containers. Everyone knows to let the little kids go first, but really everyone is just as hungry as the little kids. In front me is a big man. They give him one slice of pizza..he looks at that one skinny slice like, are you kidding me? Then he heads off to those tables, still in front of me. He reached first for a spinach salad. There was only one metal fork in the salad and it was awkward getting the salad out. He spilled the salad on the table and the dressing got all over, he picked it all up with his hands and put it on his paper plate. Next he went for the fruit salad..and there wasn't any utensils in it. I gave him my plastic fork and told him he could use that. He was happy with my help. Next he eyed the mango salsa, and then looked at me. I shook my head no and said, "finger food only." We didn't even know each other...he laughed and said ok. We both went for the cookies.

Opportunity Knocks

Probably does everyday and we do not realize it. But sometimes we realize it. We realize it now. Here is what happened.
Last year my son began making great strides wrestling. Working hard. Post season was the tournament for the mid Atlantic states. He made it past round one with 12 other kids, and the next round he got 5th.  Only 3 kids advance. He was disappointed, but realistic. The kids beat him. They were better. A learning experience. 1 week before the tournament we get a call from some director in another state asking if my son was able to compete...a place finisher broke his arm and the 2 alternates before my son could not make this tournament on such a short notice. We were already going with my other son and had hotel arrangements and my husband had the time blocked from work. This was a windfall for my son who did not qualify.  He was so psyched, and hit the mat more motivated than ever. Practicing and drilling hard. He ended up placing 8th.  In the next year he would place higher....but that 8th place was his most prized win. He was such an under dog and got such a chance,  it was the spark, and an example for all of us.
Now this same thing happened again this week! Another son started swimming this year. He always liked the water, but never had any instruction or lessons. As part of a rec swim team with many other kids he fit right in. He loved everything about swimming...and practiced and practiced and each meet improved so by the 3rd meet he was swimming for team points instead of exhibition. When the end of the season came he ended up an all star! During the all star meet he made one novice mistake after another...false start, missing the wall, bad turn etc.. He did not advance. We were disappointed but again realistic and could clearly see his competition was better and faster. But it was a good season and next year he will continue to improve.  Then...the coach sends an email. The best swimmer on the team cannot make the finals in the relay and could my son be his replacement? Oh my gosh, I did not know my kid could smile that wide.  So here we go ... he is probably the kid with the worst time in the whole meet..but he is giving all he's got.  An opportunity for sure. And he is grabbing it.

Wordless Wednesday

Another reason I could never be a teacher.

Party Conversations

Last weekend we were at a party and I was talking to a woman I haven't talked to in awhile. It was interesting catching up with her. Her daughter was a competitive athlete through college and the family spent most of their time watching and cheering for their daughters team, traveling all over the country following the team. When I told her my son was doing this sport she said to me, "Have fun. We do not miss it one bit, waking up at 6am every Saturday, gone the whole weekend, now we get up maybe 10, if we don't have an earlier tee time. Life is wonderful without all that stress." What?  I thought they loved that whole scene. They would always talk about their marvelous tail gate parties and all their new friends from all different states. And how wonderful and exciting their life was...
 This weekend we were at another party. A women I know just reentered the work force and I asked her how it was going. She said, "Oh! I can't tell you how great it is! It has been such an easy adjustment for all of us!  I felt like all my children saw me doing was cleaning my house. Not using my brain at all!  Now they see me go to work and even though they miss me they know that is what I want for them. Oh, you went back to work right?"

Why Daughters Are Great

Last night my youngest daughter and I were sitting around the kitchen table enjoying a glass of wine and  talking.  And she just burst out laughing. She said, "Mom! I just read your jammie shirt." I did get new jammies, they were 75% off, cotton, and comfortable and they fit! But I never really looked at them. So after she said that I looked at the top and it said, "Kind of on a diet." Then my daughter said, "Wait! Look at the rest of the words." and she is laughing and laughing. Written on the pants were, "It looked good in the store." "hope it fits" "skinny jeans." My daughter said, "oh! you have to have another pajama party. You cannot let these go to waste."  Then my husband came in and said what are you laughing at?..and we showed him the sayings. His face was stone cold. He said, "I don't get it." See, why it is great to have daughters?

Life With 2 Kids

Sounds a lot easier and less hectic than life with 8. But really not as much as I thought! I know that sounds crazy...let me explain....
My oldest daughter is living with her husband working full time and going to grad school, my second daughter graduated last year from college and got a job and apartment in the big city , my next daughter will be a senior engineering student and has a full time internship job this summer, my oldest son is studying in Mexico for 5 weeks. They are all the drivers in the house. Taking the boys to the pool, to practices, to friends houses. Always a lot of running around. And they are not here! This week, the next 3 boys are away at wrestling camp...that leaves me with my 10 year old son. He has swim practice every am at 8 (he comes in my room to wake me up to drive him, all dressed, with a towel in one hand and his goggles in the other, having all ready brushed his teeth, made his bed and put his cereal bowl in the dishwasher) then goes to the park program with his friends until noon, has a piano or viola lesson twice a week and has soccer camp from 6-8:30 in the evening. Seems I should have all this time to myself to play on my blog. But it does not work that way. Less kids is less bodies to do all this stuff around here! I have to do tasks the kids normally do, like water the plants, garden and flowers, pick everything from the garden, and the dog. Oh my gosh...he is lost without the boys! He keeps bringing toys and laying them in front of me. It seems like there should be less chores, like laundry... but the kids all do their own anyway. Grocery shopping? I buy 1 gallon of milk instead of 2.  It is remarkable really. And in some ways worse! I feel like I have to stay home. I feel guilty if I have lunch with my girlfriends or go to prayer group because then I would leave my son home alone...instead of leaving him home to fight with his brothers. We all still need to eat. It is not as satisfying cooking for 4 as cooking for 10! I don't have the motivation to prepare my usual meals with the variety of sides..too much energy for so few. But there are perks... yesterday for lunch we had sunny side up eggs... too complicated to make 24 when the boys are here, they have to settle for scrambled. There are always the dishes...and even if there is less foot traffic, there is still dust! I miss my worker bees. I suppose we all get used to our lot in life, but I do not think I ever would have known it is easier in so many ways with a houseful of kids.

Wordless Wednesday

I got this discount by buying 50 cans of tomatoes. We will be having a lot of salsa this summer!

When You Do Not Agree With What You Are Reading

That is what I am reading now. A political book. It proclaims opposite life views of mine. While I am reading it I sometimes gasp out loud. I cannot believe the audacity! The first few concepts he describes I have thought about for many years, considered opposing views and solidified my views with supporting information. So when I read the authors opinions I feel secure knowing he is wrong. But then the book takes a different path, to all new territory for me, that I know nothing about, and have never much thought about either. I have no idea what goes on behind senate doors or how politicians negotiate. And as I was reading it occurred to me that I was accepting and believing everything he wrote to be true, and adopting the beliefs I just read. Oh my gosh! What does that mean for so many things? Panic really. That we send our children to liberal colleges and all the new information they learn is new information! And they believe it! And adopt those same positions, by just drinking the kool-aid and not thinking, and by never being exposed to other viewpoints. Oh no! How awful! What are we as parents to do now? Hope and pray? That we have instilled enough of a desire in their minds and hearts to seek the truth, by insisting there is truth.

How I Can Tell My Husband Is Listening

I cut coupons religiously, scour the Sunday ads, wait for sales and then negotiate ...and so when my husband takes the kids to Dicks to buy his sporting stuff and does not use that $10 off coupon, he is in trouble! He has to always use the coupon! We have been married 28 years..about how long I have been telling him about the coupon. This last trip, he forgot. And when he came home with the boys and saw me, he knew he forgot. The next day, my husband told me about his dream.....he was shopping with his fraternity brothers in Boscovos and they were taking golf shoes off of the shelves looking for the right size. They were disappointed they could not find what they were looking for and as they were exiting the store empty handed the sales clerk said they first must pay a restocking fee. My husband said, "What? I put everything back. What is a restocking fee?"  The 17 year old clerk said it was company policy and he had to pay it.  My husband said, "I have never heard of this. I am not paying a restocking fee." The kid told him he had to. My husband then requested the manager. Meanwhile the fraternity boys were getting uncomfortable with all of this commotion about the restocking fee...and opened their wallets and said, "Here, just pay the stupid fee. It's like a dollar." My husband said, "No, I can't pay a restocking fee." The manager came and also told the group he really did not know the origins of this fee and they would not have to pay it this time.
I think he is starting to get the point...even if it is only in his dreams.

Simple Pleasures Are Best

 25 cucumbers from the garden. Medium size, firm, crunchy. My son peeled off the skins, my daughter then sliced and added salt and red wine vinegar. This is what they eat in heaven. Has to be. And they probably have gardens too. So they can have green beans with butter and salt, and zucchini and peppers and onions roasted and drizzled with olive oil and basil, and warm red ripe tomatoes. I love my garden! I spend way too much time in it and say next year it is going to be smaller, and next year it never is. And despite a constant and unsuccessful battle to eliminate the evil beetles, I still keep trying, with knowledge of the definition of insanity. But there are signs of intellectual progress. Last year we finally added a fence....my husbands idea after he had to come home urgently at noon, dressed in his suit and with a shovel in one hand to scoot the baby groundhog out of the garden. But then the weasel was digging under the fence and he had to come home again to figure something out and get the animal out. The year before 6 not so cute baby bunnies lived in between the lettuce and the spinach. That explained a lot. But in the end, the satisfaction of picking and enjoying watermelon and cantaloupe we planted and harvested outweighs all the difficulties...and it is so worth the effort.

Do We Need Incentives?

My son is trying to cut 3 seconds from his breaststroke time. 3 measly seconds. When he finished the race, one of the parents said, "Do you have an Xbox? What if your mom bought you an Xbox if you cut those 3 seconds?" We have an Xbox.  I looked at the man, who is sort of a family friend and said, "He wants to do his best because he wants to do his best, not to please his mom or get a present." The man said," Oh, ok"  Then I said hopefully to my son, "Right?" He nodded. I thought about this the rest of the swim meet. At dinner, we have debates on this topic. My oldest son insisting that more would get more done and done more efficiently from everyone if I would just offer a financial incentive. He proves the point because if someone wants extra money to do something and I throw in 5 bucks the floor almost always looks better. But I do not want that!  I want my kids to do their best all the time because it is right to always do your best, not because they will get money. The son reiterates his position with the paycheck argument. He formed his conclusions from personal experience. He would be in charge of babysitting his 4 younger brothers. Not easy. As part of getting paid for babysitting he also had to keep the kitchen and rest of the house clean. Not easy. My husband and I would come home from our date nights and the children would be asleep, the house tidy, the counters clean and shoes lined up neatly. My son managed this by bribing his younger siblings with a magic "prize box". He would spend maybe a $2 grand total at the Dollar store and put little plastic junk toys inside an empty shoe box and tell the brothers if they cleaned and went to bed they could pick whatever they wanted from the prize box. Whatever they wanted they could pick! And even though a 4 year old was able to realize and comprehend he was getting only junk for all his effort he still consistently put forth the effort to get the prize. When they ask me now if they could get money for doing something I tell them their reward will be heaven.  My oldest son still insists I could say heaven all I want but by offering a concrete prize the effort and result will always be better.  What do you think?

Wordless Wednesday

It's A Small Small World

My college graduate daughter is getting settled.  Her benefits packages, apartment, transportation... all the stuff that happens in the real world. She got around to the dentist...and texted me asking if she she just go to Temple dental school for her check up and cleaning..it is convenient and free. I texted her back that when I worked at Temple as a new college graduate I went to that dental school for the care of my teeth for those same reasons.  I don't think I ever told anyone that. We have since moved out of  Philadelphia.  When we moved into our present house 10 years ago, we became patrons of the local dentist, whose office is wonderfully close and where my neighbor friends go.  After we introduced ourselves at my first appointment the dentist inspected my mouth and said to me, "Those filling in your mouth....who put them in?"  I told him, "Some student at Temple dental school."  He looked at me and asked, " When were you there?"  "1983"  Then he proclaimed in awe of himself and the smallness of the world, "I put them in! I recognize my work. I was the dental student!" I wonder if my daughter will someday meet the dental student that cleans and fills her teeth.

How Sweet It Is

 ...that smile that happens when you put on a pair of shorts you haven't worn since last year and there inside the back pocket is a $20 bill.  Hope that happens to you this weekend.

Happy 5th!

My youngest son says the 4th of July is his favorite holiday. Pretty big day if it ranks higher than Christmas!  I suppose it is because in his 10 years of life he does not remember a 4th of July celebration that was not celebrated at my sisters house.  She has a beautiful log cabin in the mountains of West Virginia.  And every year she hosts a 4th of July party....and every year we happily go. The scene looks like a Norman Rockwell picture. There are kids everywhere, dogs chasing each other, older adults swaying on  porch rockers, young adults standing close to the beer or holding  beer and playing yard games, the smell of burgers and hot dogs and smores, wet clothes dripping from tubing in the river, off! on the tables to keep the bugs away, and food food food. We see relatives we didn't see since last year and say again this year "let's get together." There is patriotic music playing on a CD and American flags between the shrubs and when dark comes too soon and we sit on lawn chairs while the kids sit on the wooden fence and we watch the fireworks entertain us.....and we all clap and applaud and praise the show. And my sisters attitude is the very best, keep it simple, don't bother with all kinds of packing just sleep in your clothes.

Wordless Wednesday

A laugh for hot July.

Is There A Better Way To Learn Patience?

Please do not say practice.
My son left for Mexico yesterday at 4:30am. Without a phone charger. With limited cash. Knowing minimal Spanish.  And at the airport my husband said, "Mikey! You need a bag for your laptop. Here. Use this." and he gave him some kind of bag that was in the car. Going through the airport the strap broke and the bag and computer fell to the ground. Oh my gosh. He is 18, boarded a plane to another country and is staying with a family we have never met for 4 weeks. All day long I was waiting to hear from him, while thinking and praying. Before he left I gave him a Pieta prayer book, blessed oil and a holy card of Our Lady of Guadalupe. And reminded him and myself how Our Lady was instrumental in our family's conversion back to our faith...and sensed Mexico was somehow someway connected to her graces, where much of the country honors Mary. The rest of the family could only make the latest mass in town, Saint Catherines...and as I was praying for Mikey I remembered the miraculous medal of Mary around my neck given to Saint Catherine by Mary....and how much I love all of my faith. The hymn we were singing was Be Not Afraid. My husband showed me his phone with a text "I have arrived." We were all where we were supposed to be.