Sunday, March 17, 2013

Who Is My Business?

Yesterday we were at the regional tournament for youth wrestling. (My son made it to the state finals!) We have learned from experience that this is hopefully (that means you're still wrestling) an all day event. So we park our folding chairs and coolers near the gym but apart from the bleachers and crowd. 5 of us were sitting together in a semicircle talking when a young child, who looked to be about 8 and in a singlet ran by us and went under the bleachers. Seconds later his 30 something year old dad came storming past us and in a loud voice began berating this child. "You call that wrestling? What was that? Terrible! Just terrible! You will never be anything or get anywhere in your life. You are pathetic and disgusting. That was a disgrace the way you wrestled. It wasn't wrestling. You let him put you on your back. You are nothing. You are not a wrestler. I hope you're proud of yourself."  We could not help but hear this, it was a scene. My kids were looking at me like, do something, help this child. I didn't know what to do. Then another woman comes over to this man and says "Stop acting like that! You should be ashamed of yourself. He is just a kid." Then this man became even more furious and charged the woman with his fists, shouting, "Stay the f... out of my business lady. Who the hell do you think you are?" Then suddenly again among the crowd two 6 foot 6 300 pound men came over and said, "Hey. What's the problem here?" The angry guy saw the size of these bystanders, stuttered and said, "No problem." picked up his bags and dragged his child out of the gym. We all sat there, in silence. In sadness. And the rest of the day we thought about and prayed for that poor little boy. What could we have done?

61 comments:

  1. dang....its pretty sickening the way some people treat their children...and many relive their own glory through children...ugh...i am glad someone said something...and that those guys stood up as well...i know it wont do much good but...

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  2. This is just horrible!!!! I have often thought...we have to take tests for driving and schools, but none to see if we should be a parent. This child needs to be taken away from his father...and you know when the child gets older, he will either have severe emotional problems, or bully others.

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  3. Whenever I hear of this my heart sinks. The problem is...what can we really do but pray..we can't go home with the child and protect him from the abuser. This father is the same man that abuses the woman in his life too. Maybe someone else has another answer but I do not. We can pray that at some point, the mother or grandmother steps in and fixes it and that a good man will become his mentor. Bless his little heart.....Lord please protect this child.

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  4. That just breaks my heart ... I hope he was ok once his Dad got him alone :(

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  5. Unfortunately, there isn't a thing you can do, really, but pray. That dad probably was raised that way, and his poor child is going to grow up to pass on the sad legacy unless someone intervenes. It will have to be the authorities, though; anyone else, and the dad will simply fight.

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    1. In this instance, praying isn't enough. Enough people witnessed this incident that the father wouldn't have a leg to stand on with CPS. If outsiders won't do anything to help, who will. Certainly not the rest of the family. They're probably too intimidated by the stupid jerk!

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  6. Oh my gosh my eyes were stinging with tears just reading this post. That poor child, the public humiliation along with the personal hurt to his heart and soul. Ouch. As a mom, hearing that makes me just want to love on my lil girlie Savannah who is eight years old and just wants to be a kid.

    Thank you for sharing with us.

    Viola

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  7. It is so sad to hear a parent talk like that to a child. It breaks my heart. I will pray for that little boy.

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  8. That is just awful and makes me sad how parents can treat their children. :(

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  9. Disgusting. So sad and disgusting.

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  10. Nothing. I remember seeing something similar at an athletic event when my kids were in school. It was very difficult for us because we knew the child (mid-teens) and the parent. The look on that child's face I still remember. The parent was a good parent in most ways, he just took sports too seriously, but the words were cruel. I can say that the child turned out to be a successful, happy young man. So, hopefully, the same will happen for the child you saw.

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  11. Children are such a blessing, parents need to remember this at all times.

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  12. So many times in my life, I have witnessed some horrible scene such as this where a child was told they were nothing or a "little sh--"...or some other horrible name....watched as "mothers" and I use that term looely, walked 5 feet in front of their two year old child, not even turning around to make sure the child was following...just the other day, my hubby and I watched as a "mother" of 3 young children, who was walking across the parking lot at the mall, left the two older children, about 3 and 5, at least 20 yards behind, and the three year old lost his shoe right in the middle of the road that goes in front of the mall....and he called out...and she didn't even turn around. A car was coming....and the child couldn't get his shoe on, though he kept trying. I stopped and turned around and stood by the boy so that he wouldn't get run over. When she realized I was paying attention to him, she walked back and grabbed him by the arm, jerked him up with his little shoe only halfway on his foot, and took them back to the car. The five year old was still in the parking lot, looking confused and would have been run over by a car or truck had they decided to back out because he was too short to be in their mirrow. I was furious. I wanted to call CPS, but the lady would have been gone, and I didn't think to get her lisence plate number. We need to pray for the children of this nation because there are too many bad parents out there who just treat their children like dirt. It's very sad. I would say that if you know who the child is, turn his dad into CPS. If he acts that way in public, there is no telling what happens to the child behind closed doors!

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  13. AND if you and your children know the child, please encourage him by telling him he did a good job trying. Keep up the effort...that kind of thing. Someone acknowledging that he is putting out effort might just make a difference in his life. I think you CAN do more than just pray. It takes a village to raise a child. We cannot just turn our backs.

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  14. My stomach is churning~ I'll pray for that boy too~

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  15. Perhaps those big guys should have given him a wrestling lesson and then berated him for ending up on HIS back!

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  16. I liked Ginny's comment and Ms. A. But the father probably only knows tongue lashings - it is his form of love. Mine ruled me that way and caused me to be insecure to this day. He didn't know better. It is easy to say to someone supposedly grown; grow up, get over it and don't perpetuate the cycle, but when you are neck deep in it, you don't realize. He may have meant no harm. Our little guy is in my prayers too. Someone needs to befriend the father AND the son. Dad needs love too.

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  17. Argh- that makes my blood boil and breaks my heart. My prayers are with him.

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  18. Oh that is just horrible! You did the right thing and prayed. Interfering in that kind of situation when you are not trained will only result in the kid being lashed at even more and maybe worse things will happen when they are alone. :(

    Obviously the man himself is very weak, unstable and probably was treated terrible when he was a child. Prayer, and lots of it is the key. I will pray for him and his child.

    Blessings and congrats on your son making it to the finals!! Way to go!
    <><

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  19. I haven't been able to stop thinking about this....and the child I didn't report the mom of....we both should have taken out our cell phones and recorded what was going on....that alone might have straightened those horrible parents up. Then if we reported it, we would have proof...not just our word against theirs.

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  20. Perhaps one of you could have captured it on video on a phone and then called the police. This really disturbs me. Just imagining the beating (mentally or physically) the child got when he got home makes me feel sick.

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  21. Heart breaking. I pray for that father. He should have been pinned to the ground!

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  22. Oh, how horrible. My heart breaks for that poor little boy. That lady was very brave to say something to that father, but she was lucky he didn't turn his fists onto her. He's a miserable bully, and I guess the only thing that was going to shut him down was a couple of men larger than he was. Sad. I honestly don't know what you could have done to help.

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  23. Annmarie, In this instance, prayer won't help much, at least as far as the father is concerned. Someone needs to deck him, but only after his family is safe from his anger! I'll bet he's abusive as well...perhaps even with his wife. Poor kid...and poor family! Take Care, Big Daddy Dave

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  24. Oh dear that's awful. That child will never forget how he was spoken to and treated by his father; and in front of a crowd too - makes me want to cry!

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  25. That was terrible! So sad... Nothing much you can do but pray. That's what the kid needs right now. Poor little boy...

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  26. How absolutely horrible!! Possibly reporting the incident to the boy's coach and letting him know how the poor child was being abused by his dad might have helped.

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  27. Parenting skills have gone out of the window in the last few decades. I'm quite proud to say that the parents of my grandchildren have excellent parenting skills.
    Public humiliation would be a good thing in cases like this one.

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  28. What is wrong with parents like that? Unfortunately, I suspect I would of sat there with shock on my face but probably wouldn't of interfered. It would of bothered me for days though.

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  29. I will pray for them.

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  30. It's so painful to see that. Participating in athletics has taught my children to appreciate my husband and I. They've witnessed some of their friends being berated by parents though nothing so horrible as you witnessed.

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  31. My heart just breaks when I hear this. I will pray for that little guy. sandie

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  32. That's horrible! It reminds me of an episode of "What Would You Do?" You know that man continued to harass his son as soon as they walked out the door. To him it was probably his son's fault that the outsiders came over to talk with him.

    Things like that just stay in your mind. :(

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  33. I always wish I traveled with a big hand mirror to run over to such a parent like that and shove it in HIS face and say , OK now talk like that to yourself and see how really stupid you are and look!!!! I think people like that are unhappy with themselves but manage to take it out on their very own kids! Wake up to those kind of parents, start treating your children as you should, with love and kindness.

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  34. What a frightening experience for everyone! I doubt there is anything you could do for him, except pray for him, unless of course he was hitting his child. It's really a sad situation the negative parenting.

    My husband ran a 5K with my daughter. It was her first. They were running and they were wearing earphones. She was trying to stop and walk within sight of the finish line, he was speaking loudly (because of the earphones)...Don't you dare stop, keep going, your almost there...A woman freaked out on him yelling at him to not yell at his daughter. My daughter knew her dad wasn't yelling at her just encouraging her to finish. My husband told that woman to buzz off. Sometimes it's about perception...In your case, though, I would have come to the same perception.

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  35. man oh man this one tugs at my soul

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  36. Oh dear. I think I'd have made it a point to at least connect with that boy in an encouraging kind of way...
    Congrats on your son, he sure had a season!

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  37. THIS MAKES ME CRAZY!!!! That poor child, and if he is doing this in public then what is he doing behind closed doors.

    Wrestling is the toughest sport out there. I deals so much not just physically but mentally with our boys too. It's our job as parents to nurture both so that they can get out there and do their best.

    Oh, and congrats on state! How did he do by the way?

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  38. It's so heart wrenching when parents don't appreciate the wonderful gift that God has given them in their child. It's awful to read about it, worse to see it in person, and it weighs awfully heavy on my heart. I want to take them all home and keep them, but I know that can never happen.

    :(

    I will pray for that child too, and the dad. It's all I know to do.

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  39. I want to cry. And then I want to punch that dad in the face. Not very Christian like, I know, but I can't help it. What a horrible man.
    I'm praying for that boy too.

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  40. OMG, what a horrible thing to happen. I feel so sorry for that poor child. The father's a bully. All stats say most children of bullies grow up to be bullies. Perhaps you could contact the tournament director and discreetly explain as you've explained here.

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  41. I suppose that is the way the father was treated when he was a child. Very distressing but I'm sure the school the child attends is aware of this and it won't be long until this man is reported to the authoities.

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  42. Praying is the most you can do for that little boy. :/

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  43. It's a shame when parents are more immature than their children. I don' know what you could have done, but I'm glad the woman spoke up for the boy and the men stood up for her. There are still many good people in the world.

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  44. Oh my goodness. So sad, so horrible. I feel so bad for that child. I'm glad that someone did at least try to stand up for him. I don't know what you could have done either. Prayers for that family. They need them.

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  45. Having worked for several years with children ( a little older than 8) who were verbally and physically abused, and knowing the law, I would have called child protective services and reported this guy. You had witnesses. Parents and side liners need to get involved. If this father was carrying on like this in a public place, I would hate to think what was going on in the car and when they got home.
    I had a teenager that was having to sleep between the couch and the wall to hide from her ma's boyfriend to keep from being sexually abused. I found out, told the school guidance Councillor and it was stopped. Please, don't think for a moment that your voice wouldn't be heard. Please save this child!!

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  46. I think the worst part of it all is wanting to help but not knowing how...

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  47. Very sad. It's hard to know what to do. My husband was raised by a man like that. But he turned out wonderful because he didn't want to be like his Father. Hopefully this will happen to this poor little boy. All we can do is pray that someone in his life saves him from this brute. xx

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  48. Maybe we should have some laws against parents who verbally abuse their kids. There were certainly enough witnesses.

    Thanks for linking on my Picture Perfect Party Linky! I hope you link again at
    http://abooksandmore.blogspot.com/2013/03/picture-perfect-party-linky-32.html

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  49. So sad. If this is how he treats his child in public, imagine what must be happening in private.

    Poor boy.

    This story makes me sad. There was nothing that could be done.

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  50. Oh, such a sad story. It should have been such a lovely day for everyone. I'm glad people tried to stick up for the poor boy. I'm praying for everyone, including the man who was so cruel.

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  51. What an awful thing to witness and not be able to really do anything to help. But then, you did do the most important thing. You prayed for him. I would have done the same.

    =)

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  52. Sadly, I believe you witnessed mental health problems in the making.

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  53. That makes me so sad. My heart is broken for the poor boy. :(
    -Steph

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  54. That child will grow up to have self-loathing all his life unless he gets a lot of help or is fortunate enough to have a father figure in his life (different from his biological father). I think praying for that little boy was the best thing you could have done.

    I know a man (MB) whose father treated him that way at the CA state track meet when he was 17 and he didn't win his race. I think his dad treated him like that a lot. MB grew up to be an angry, critical man today and is having marital problems because of his anger issues. So painfully sad.

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